Detoxing Part I.

Last month the newsletter addressed stress and worry. This series will address how to address issues that are intoxicating and if not properly addressed add stress to our lives.

Have you ever worked with someone who is more concerned about what everyone else is doing at work than doing their job? Does this person create more conflict than unity in the workplace? Over the past few weeks, I have been hearing more stories about these employees as I have been providing programs on Handling Difficult Conversations, Dealing with Aggressive Individuals, and of course, Stress Management. The underlying item that the audience keeps identifying is that it is one of their good employees, who of course is not in attendance, that is creating the problem. Good employees don’t cause us stress, they don’t create a hostile work environment, and they don’t create a loss in productivity because they are driving down morale. To use the phrase “good employee” followed by a description that they are doing anything hostile is an oxymoron! The interesting issue is that the employers or co-workers often attempt to explain away the negative behaviors hoping that while they see the problem the employee is having they will understand how valuable this employee is for the organization. One common problem is that the person who needs to address the behaviors of this alleged “good employee” is either too close to the situation to see the utter devastation that is occurring or the leader with authority to take action is choosing to take no action and is ignoring the problem altogether. Most of us realize that the alleged good employee needs to be referred to by a phrase that better describes what they are, a Toxic Employee, or in some cases an abusive or hostile employee. Whatever phrase you use we can see that retaining an employee who is destructive to morale is costly. This can often be seen by looking at the number of employees who have left after having had to work with this toxic individual, the records may reveal a great deal of carnage if there have been no attempts to address the problem. A sad factor exist for those employees who have left because of this situation, many of them experience long emotional repercussions from this encounter.

For many managers and leaders it is easier to examine the issue by using the analogy of the employee in question being described as toxic or as an abuser. For those of us that live a healthy life and have a healthy view of how to treat one another, we would not willingly or knowingly invite an emotionally or verbally abusive person to come live in our home and give them free rein over everyone in it. But in the workplace, some employees are very skillful at flying under the radar. They secure the skills and the knowledge that causes them to appear invaluable and irreplaceable. While the analogy of the toxicity or abuser may seem extreme, the seriousness of the situation needs to addressed. Toxic employees, like abusers, create a sense of dependency or reliance. They put down the people they work with or live with in order to make themselves feel better. Many leaders or managers dismiss the idea that one person is responsible for the undercurrent. The employee who is stirring the pot, to use an old cliché, has a knack for turning situations around so that it isn’t their responsibility or fault, but rather it is almost always someone else’s fault and he or she is the innocent victim.

So how do you know if you have a toxic employee in your workforce or in your life? Look for the following signs.
1) This person constantly reports on or makes accusations about the behaviors of co-workers, when that is not their responsibility to report on these actions.

2). They discourage the interaction of others with targeted co-workers and when that co-worker is gone they select a new victim.

3) A consistent inability to accept responsibility for their behavior and actions, even in the face of dire consequences.

4) Inability to respect interpersonal boundaries, a compulsion to violate boundaries. (For example they may be constantly needing to meet with a Supervisor, ignoring protocol for an appointment, or meeting with a manager or supervisor without concern for the amount of time they are taking.)

So what is the good news and the bad news: The good news is that if you step back you can see the traits and then identify the behaviors objectively so that human resources or policies and procedures can serve as your guide to address the person’s actions.
Use a COPING Model to help see the behaviors objectively:

Clarify exactly what the problem or behavior is - inability to work with peers, inability to follow the rules. (If anyone else were doing this, would this behavior be tolerated, for example a new employee under probation?)

Objectively identify the facts – interpersonal skill, communication skills, teamwork.

Patterns of behavior - frequency that behavior is exhibited, this is usually the easiest one to see.

Investigate the options – What is it that you expect from them? What behavior is required?

Negotiate the options to correct the problem – Is there an opportunity for corrective action? How will this be identified? Be very specific on expected behaviors, if this is an option.

Give the options a chance to be met.

The bad news is that if one of these employees has been in your organization for more than 90 days, then for some reason their actions have been ignored and they believe that their actions are acceptable. Because that behavior isn’t okay it must be addressed and should be addressed as soon as they commit their next deed, and they will, because they are creatures of habit. The other bad news is that these individuals’ actions don’t go away if we ignore them, instead they only get worse over time but they may become more covert in their approach, especially in a work setting. Stay tuned for other ways to detox your life and make it Stress Free.