Have you ever had someone give you instructions that confused you? Do you remember your response? When asked to do something that confuses us our mind takes over and provides the response. A confused mind says, No! This internal response prevents us from hearing explanations and engages our personal defense system, thus decreasing our ability to communicate effectively or to gain clarity.
We have all had times when we find ourselves confused. As a speaker, trainer, leader, and parent, I have had many chances to encounter the look of confusion coming from someone who is being given instructions. In programs, that I do such as Train the Trainer, Presentation Skills or Teaching how to use Icebreakers etc. I emphasize the importance of being clear and in wording information in such a way to get the mind to say Yes! Being able to avoid a confused mind takes practice, as well as, an understanding of how to word information in such a way that the receiver hears the information fully. This alone can present a challenge. A confused mind can be caused by the sender or the receiver.
Sending Information
We are always learning and growing and applying what we learn from our personal lives to our professional lives and vice a versa. As a trainer, educator, and sales person, I know the importance of sending a message that is clear and concise. The person sending the information or instructions may word the information negatively thus leading the receiver to want to say No, which often ends the conversation at that point. The person sending the information, may lack the ability to be direct and clear with what the information is that they are attempting to share. In addition, confirming what was heard may be a skill that is missing from the person sending the information. So here are Five Quick Tips for avoiding the Confused Minds and in sending clearer Messages.
- Word the information in a positive manner
- Attempt to word information so that the person receiving the message will say YES either aloud or at least internally.
- Give instructions one at a time. Multi-tasking is great, but people are often on mental overload and multiple instructions can cause confusion quickly.
- Ask for clarity! Have the person receiving the message identify the task they are to do and the steps they will perform to do this.
- Use Open-ended questions instead of closed ended.
The Receiver
Have you ever had someone share information with you, only to discover somewhere in the sharing of information, you zoned out! In other words you were physically present but mentally absent! It happens to all of us. The person receiving the information usually has good intentions and wants to hear what is being said, but their own brain may create interference.
One word or phrase may cause them to start thinking about something entirely different than what is being said. The way information is worded may be negative causing the mind to launch into a state of defense in an attempt to avoid confusion. The receive was inadequately prepared to hear the information or the it was given to quickly and without a chance for clarity. In other words, the receive was not asked to tune in! When we make a phone call we know that the call isn’t completed unless someone answers or the voice mail picks up. So why would this be different when speaking to people directly. If the sender doesn’t get a response or ask for a response, then how do we know that the person we are sending information to has connected with what we are sending. We don’t! So the next time you are about to share information in a meeting, training event etc. Consider the following:
- Gain the receivers attention.
- Ask the receiver a question that gets them to say YES
- Allow them to repeat back what they understand.
- Avoid asking them if they have any questions – because this very question can cause confusion, instead say something like: Let’s have a dialogue what else can I share that would be helpful. The secure will ask questions the insecure will be more willing to babble their confusion so you can help them understand.
- Emphasize key words and provide explanation on what you mean when you use them.
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