Leading and Managing

Ever notice how much energy it takes to try to control a something or someone? Leaders provide direction while managers try to control direction. We know that we can’t control people nor can we control circumstances in a persons life. Leaders understand that surrendering and admitting our limitations frees us to be better leaders. Leadership is based on what we do while management is based on what we do and how we do it. Even a terrific leader, has limits, such as we can’t force people to take responsibility for themselves.

In the last 20 years the needs of leaders has changed. We have people who lead, but are not given official authority over the people they lead. In today’s workforce, loyalty means the employee will look at for his or her self first and the company later. Granted there are still some pockets of the population that may still have employees who are loyal to the company first, but this is a thing of the past, unless the company is taking positive action with employees.

I recently worked with an international company that does a great job examining the people within the company that are doing a good job. They are very proactive in their promotional steps. They have learned that what worked 20 years ago – even 10 years ago isn’t effective today. So they have stopped operating out of habit and started operating with intention. Their intention is to change the reward systems and determine what rewards and recognitions the employees personally value, so that it has meaning. This has involved taking time to meet with employees and to get to learn what employee’s value. In addition, the company has re-examined promotional methods. No longer does a person have to serve time to get a promotion, rather they have to show service and skill. But there is still more that needs to be done. While it sounds like this company has it together, we met because there is a missing piece.

The leaders are moving people into leadership positions in a timelier manner, which pleases the employees who can see the opportunity for growth, but that is where they drop the ball or stop the process. Do you know companies that have great employees that have potential so to reward the person they promote them and then abandon them? This can cause the employee feel unappreciated, which is confusing, because they initial reason the promotion occurred was because he or she was doing a great job, now they are left alone to try to survive. Some companies think that this strategy is an attempt to stop that managerial style approach that says I will tell you what to do each step of the way. Setting them free to sink without assistance isn’t leadership. There is a balance that needs to be found. Yes, a leader needs to realize that it is important to give a person room to grow, so we have to release our grip. We also have to teach future leaders how to release the grip and how to direct people. Leaders are not superheroes or people with special powers. Many of the most effective leaders in the world had no power over anyone, but had the greatest influence.

We can increase energy in a company by properly teaching people who serve in a leadership capacity regardless if they have authority over people or not. For those that get responsibility with authority, there is still another decision to make. Does that responsibility mean that have the necessary training to lead others. A hard dedicated, ambitious employee may just be a hard-dedicated employee but not a groomed effective leader. They may have leadership skills, the emotional intelligence to lead, but may lack the skills to effectively lead a group of people. To often companies unintentionally set people up for failure, because they take the best and then neglect to give them the training needed to assure that they will succeed, thus they have to learn to survive on their own. Human instinct to survive often means that they will survive but may eat up other good employees along the way. This is unintentional, but still it happens too often. Companies set people up in a great office and give them office equipment, but neglect to equip them with training. Some of the excuses are unbelievable. Those employees aren’t in the upper tier of leadership, so they don’t need it, we don’t have a budget for that group. Do you have a budget for hiring, because when leaders without direction lead others the wrong way, you may find yourself having to recruit new members for the team? As a leader we owe it to the people we lead, regardless of where they sit in the company to give them the internal equipment that is needed to assure their success and ultimately to assure our success.

Farmers know that when you want to reap something you must sow it. Why? Because the seeds you plant will reproduce their own kind. But the better care you take of the seeds, the soil and the environment, the better the crop. What are you doing to grow your future leaders? If you are not sure test the soil? Ask the leaders what they need from you and then listen to the answers. Take control of your direction by giving direction to the people who lead others.

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Leadership the Next Generation

Leaders wanting employees or family members to grow need to aim them in the right direction. Companies are very much like a family both functional and dysfunctional. To increase productivity and the ability to function properly leaders have the responsibility to nurture, and grow people. Leaders can accelerate or stifle a person’s gifts. They can also spend time, money, and energy providing benefits. The goal of companies and of families is that by putting time and energy into employees and family their will be a better chance of loyalty. In the last newsletter Vol. III No. 36, discussed how leaders are often aimed toward leadership but not given the authority to lead. In addition, we discussed the fact that larger companies are realizing the old corporate ladder didn’t create loyalty for the newer generations seeking advancement for their skills rather than for their years of service. So that today we need to stop operating out of habit and start operating with intention. Leaders have an obligation to the next generation to prepare them.

One of the first areas in which companies can fall short when promoting individuals within their organizations is in providing leadership skills necessary to help the organization function effectively and productively Many times people the goals have not been formally identified and communicated to employees. Too often companies wait until the unthinkable happens such as a leader having to take emergency and is on medical leave etc. Successful organizations are always preparing the next generation of leaders so that if a leader leaves, an equally talented and prepared employee is ready to step in and assume the responsibilities of the position. Without blinking an eye, a company should be able to send in a backup who will keep the team moving forward. Identifying and developing employees for leadership positions is essential.

How does a company establish a system for developing talent within its organization? Defining who is and who is not a leader in an organization largely depends upon the organization itself. Identification begins with a look at the company philosophy and objectives, as well as the fit of the person with the current people in leadership positions. Be careful to look for people who compliment yet who are not clones of the people already leading the company, diversity is essential to success. In a study conducted by SHRM and Personnel Decisions International in 2000, only 45 percent of the responding organizations reported having development plans for non-exempt employees. What these numbers indicate is that more than half of these organizations lacked formal leadership development plans for their rank and file–a critical part in identifying the next generation of leadership. As you are reading this, you may realize that your organization suffers from this problem. Companies such as Fed Ex, Avon, and Pampered Chef succeed because leaders are constantly seeking new people to become involved in the company and they are continually preparing there leaders by providing educational programs that are customized to their company.

If your organization is lacking in training it isn’t alone. A study conducted jointly by Anderson Consulting and the Economist Intelligence Unit confirmed that there is a lack of comfort that most organizations feel when it comes to the topic of leadership development. Ninety percent of the CEO’s reported that their organizations leadership development process was in its infancy phase and had definite room for improvement. FedEx, a Fortune 500 company based in Memphis, Tennessee in the USA, values training its employees. FedEx found that training was directly linked to its competitive advantage in the marketplace. As a result, its internal commitment to the philosophy of P-S-P (people-service-profit) has been at the center of this company’s training measures and initiatives. Establishing the link between training and profitability. Companies such as Fed Ex learn that leadership training is at the heart of an effective business model. Realizing the payoff is seen in quality, profitability and in retention. For the future leaders and employees, the payoff is equally as great, as they are offered training and development opportunities.

Great leaders and managers do not necessarily start with the basic skills needed to make them great. Companies that consistently, uniformly and regularly offer classes in management and leadership for up-and-coming employees find that promotion decisions are a lot easier because the training has taken place and people are ready to take on added responsibility. Another survey shows that eighty-two percent organizations are having a hard time finding qualified leaders. This leads us to ask questions: What does your current leadership training initiative look like, and is it working for your company? Does your organization identify people with potential leadership skills? What types of training and development opportunities are in place for these employees?

Leadership development—broadly defined as formal and informal training and professional development programs designed for all levels of executives and management employees to assist them in developing the leadership skills and styles required to deal with a variety of situations. Effective leadership development encompasses two key areas: 1) the ability to move future leaders forward and begin developing their leadership talent; and 2) determining cost effective leadership methods such in-house training programs, or hiring outside trainers to either build the program or do the training. Leaders like parents have a responsibility to prepare for the future. As leaders, we must look at ourselves closely and make sure that we reflect courage and are willing to encourage our organizations to make positive changes to develop leaders for the future. Too often companies find great people promote them and then see if they can lead.

The Importance of Thinking Before We Speak

Have you ever had a conversation with a person only to realize they weren’t listening? Perhaps you have had an entire conversation in which people were talking but no one is really listening, they are only waiting to reply. In the United States we are approaching a holiday called Thanksgiving. It is very typical for friends and family to come together during this time and attempt to communicate with one another, when in actuality all most of them are doing is talking, but they are not listening. They are so focused on sharing their information that they do not hear what other people are saying. They only hear the silence they take as permission to start making noise. This same problem happens everyday in any one of the 25 million meetings taking place or between worker and co-worker.

Listening is rare. Do you have people in your life that know how to listen? To really listen? If we are fortunate, we have someone in our life who we feel we can talk to because they listen and listen with such a deep capacity that they hear the person, the emotion, and even the unspoken words. They are able to communicate on a level rarely reached by people who listen to only the words. Listening on this level requires a skill. There are people who enable us to be as we are and to learn why we have never been more until we are willing to hear what they have to say.

Recently, I was doing a team building training program with a company and they had selected to have a debrief with me after the event was complete. The debrief involved me meeting one-on-one with each participant and discussing what I had observed, felt and heard. My role in this interactive teambuilding session was to use my skills, training, knowledge and expertise to determine what this team was doing well and what areas each team member needed to work on improving in order to move the team forward. In order for people to grow, they must understand how people hear them. A person who can help enlighten you on how what you say in your actions as well as in your words is invaluable. It has been said that a person will never truly know his or herself until they find a person who can listen and can help them to discover who they are. We can hide from ourselves alone, but we cannot discover ourselves alone.

Do you have a professional coach, an older, wiser, more experienced person who will stand on the sidelines of your life and see the big picture? So often in business people are competing with one another and are unable to see that growth isn’t about winning a race, rather it is about the performance in the race. While some people may walk away with a trophy, we all have to walk away with ourselves regardless of where we finished in the race. Do you have someone who will give honest feedback to you or to your team, see beneath the facades and openly discuss the way people work together and what needs to be done so that everyone is in the same game?

Who stretches your mind? Who can make you wince as they expose the truth that you don’t want to face? Who can give you feedback in a way that is open and informational so that you can grow? Many of us have people in our lives who are more than willing to expose our inadequacies and shortcomings, but they communicate in a way that is negative and thus it prevents us from hearing the message.

Who listens and encourages your growth personally and professionally? Success happens because visionaries see the possibility and hear destiny calling them. We need visionaries who can communicate the possibilities with us. They can see the dream and hear what we have to offer so that we can reach for our dream by making it a goal.

Companies who are having the most success with retention and motivation today have worked on improving communication among employees. They have heard the need and have established programs to build better communication across generations and from Top Management down and across.

When was the last time you attended a program on Generational Diversity or on Communication basics? Do you have a mentor or a coach? Does your employer offer a mentoring program to help employees grow? Are meetings facilitated in a manner that allows everyone to participate and be heard? Do you participate in strategic planning retreats with an outside facilitator trained to make sure that everyone’s ideas are heard? If you or your company are without these items, then it is very likely you or your company have come to a holding pattern. I am presently writing this newsletter, while in the air and delayed because the flight before was put in a holding pattern. A holding pattern is when a plane is unable to land because of unfavorable ground conditions. This is why planes have to carry extra fuel to make sure they can stay in the air longer should they be placed in a holding pattern. But this is costly! Either personally or professionally when we don’t have a person who can listen to us, or who can relay what our communication is saying to others, then we are in a holding a pattern. For growth and progress will not occur until we hear.

The company I just finished working with was pleasantly surprised at my ability to get to the issues so quickly and to help each person develop a plan of action, as well as the team, so they could begin to soar higher. Are you ready to soar higher? Then let’s get ready to take off together. Let us know what we can do to help you or your company improve communication. Don’t delay, take action today.

The Depth of Leadership

Getting the lead on leadership comes down to one question. How deep is your leadership? Are you a leader on the inside? Do you know people who are only leaders by the labels or title that they wear? Leading without depth is a tough job. Over the last two months, the newsletter has covered topics about leading without authority now we are diving deeper into leadership, as we examine the depth of leadership.

Recently I was reading an article on the different types of Pine trees that prompted this article on leadership. See the Lodgepole Pine, Monterey Pine etc. are commonly called, fire climax pines, because their seeds are stored in closed cones until they are opened by a fire, at which time they are released in order to repopulate the forest. On the outside, a person unfamiliar with the tree may simply think it is like any other pine tree. This means that many people see only the pinecone without seeing or knowing that there is more to this cone. People who lead without authority are often as overlooked as these special pine trees. On the exterior they look co-workers. They may look less impressive than a person wearing a name badge that has a title of leadership.

As a speaker, who speaks on leadership, I meet a lot of people who wear a coat of armor or false front that allows them to look like they are equipped leaders, when actually they are missing the depth or soul of being a real leader. So often, we look at people and see only their exterior. Please understand that the exterior view of a person serves a purpose and sends a message about what the person seems to be. However, real leaders know that it is the interior that makes a person a real leader. In leadership, it is important to be able to identify real leaders. These are people that regardless of what a name badge or title says, they are ready to stand up under fire and place themselves in a position that will help the company or other people succeed.

Leaders don’t require titles or even authority because they are in charge of themselves and in any given situation, they remain true to who they are and lead others selflessly. Leaders are ready for challenges that come their way. When life, work, or family present real leaders with a bump or obstacle, these individuals stay up right. They remain true to their values, to their code of ethics, and to their friends and co-workers. They are dependable and the only thing that splashes out when they encounter a bump is their ability to lead calmly and with dignity, because they see the bigger picture in what is happening. Whether they are handling a customer complaint, an employee evaluation, or a disappointment from a peer or co-worker, these leaders remain objective, clear headed and determined to see how to make the situation become a win win. False leaders or people who wear the title of leadership on the outside, are usually quick to blame others and rarely take responsibility for mistakes or problems.

Bumps are going to happen; to expect otherwise is to set yourself up for disillusionment. The good news is that when leaders are tested the real leaders will reveal themselves, because it is who they are inside and out. The one’s who are wearing a façade will also reveal themselves in their inability to handle the situation properly. Obstacles help real leaders to refine their skills. Leaders don’t need a test to know the depth of their skills, they are already know that under fire they are ready to stand strong. They don’t fear being caught unprepared, because they are always prepared. Think of the hardest thing going on in your life right now, and then ask yourself, “Is this circumstance shrinking my leadership potential or stretching it?” It is stretching you to grow to go deeper inside and discover the skills, qualities and abilities that you have. Without stretching and without having depth, it is impossible to lead others. So let yourself grow! Embrace the challenges, accept the responsibility, and don’t worry about the credit or the titles that your have, because it is more important to be true to who you are and what you are meant to do, then to be labeled by someone who doesn’t really know you.

Like the pinecone that will open after a fire to ensure that future populations will have trees, leaders understand that it is more important to accept our fate than it is to worry about a title.

Confused Minds

Have you ever had someone give you instructions that confused you? Do you remember your response? When asked to do something that confuses us our mind takes over and provides the response. A confused mind says, No! This internal response prevents us from hearing explanations and engages our personal defense system, thus decreasing our ability to communicate effectively or to gain clarity.

We have all had times when we find ourselves confused. As a speaker, trainer, leader, and parent, I have had many chances to encounter the look of confusion coming from someone who is being given instructions. In programs, that I do such as Train the Trainer, Presentation Skills or Teaching how to use Icebreakers etc. I emphasize the importance of being clear and in wording information in such a way to get the mind to say Yes! Being able to avoid a confused mind takes practice, as well as, an understanding of how to word information in such a way that the receiver hears the information fully. This alone can present a challenge. A confused mind can be caused by the sender or the receiver.

Sending Information

We are always learning and growing and applying what we learn from our personal lives to our professional lives and vice a versa. As a trainer, educator, and sales person, I know the importance of sending a message that is clear and concise. The person sending the information or instructions may word the information negatively thus leading the receiver to want to say No, which often ends the conversation at that point. The person sending the information, may lack the ability to be direct and clear with what the information is that they are attempting to share. In addition, confirming what was heard may be a skill that is missing from the person sending the information. So here are Five Quick Tips for avoiding the Confused Minds and in sending clearer Messages.

• Word the information in a positive manner
• Attempt to word information so that the person receiving the message will say YES either aloud or at least internally.
• Give instructions one at a time. Multi-tasking is great, but people are often on mental overload and multiple instructions can cause confusion quickly.
• Ask for clarity! Have the person receiving the message identify the task they are to do and the steps they will perform to do this.
• Use Open-ended questions instead of closed ended.

The Receiver

Have you ever had someone share information with you, only to discover somewhere in the sharing of information, you zoned out! In other words you were physically present but mentally absent! It happens to all of us. The person receiving the information usually has good intentions and wants to hear what is being said, but their own brain may create interference.

One word or phrase may cause them to start thinking about something entirely different than what is being said. The way information is worded may be negative causing the mind to launch into a state of defense in an attempt to avoid confusion. The receive was inadequately prepared to hear the information or the it was given to quickly and without a chance for clarity. In other words, the receive was not asked to tune in! When we make a phone call we know that the call isn’t completed unless someone answers or the voice mail picks up. So why would this be different when speaking to people directly. If the sender doesn’t get a response or ask for a response, then how do we know that the person we are sending information to has connected with what we are sending. We don’t! So the next time you are about to share information in a meeting, training event etc. Consider the following:

• Gain the receivers attention.
• Ask the receiver a question that gets them to say YES
• Allow them to repeat back what they understand.
• Avoid asking them if they have any questions – because this very question can cause confusion, instead say something like: Let’s have a dialogue what else can I share that would be helpful. The secure will ask questions the insecure will be more willing to babble their confusion so you can help them understand.
• Emphasize key words and provide explanation on what you mean when you use them.

Leading without Authority

Have you ever been in a position where you had a responsibility to lead, but lacked the authority to take action to discipline those you led? Whether you are a parent, teacher, corporate leader, or are in business for yourself, the answer probably is yes! We all have the potential to lead people even when we lack the authority to lead. The last newsletter discussed being stuck in the middle, which is how many people describe this type of a position. However, some see this position as a necessary step and a preparatory step to move up while others see it as a tiring and thankless position. Regardless of our personal views the reality is that leadership without authority or commonly called transformation leadership is a tremendous dilemma for many of today’s leaders.

Why Leading without Authority Exists?

Streamlining, right sizing, and downsizing in organizations has created a new position in the corporate ladder typically referred to as transformational leadership. These leaders are given the responsibility to motivate, lead, improve productivity, and negotiate conflicts without the ability to hire, promote, evaluate or even fire the people they supervise. Leaders without authority can be very influential and far more motivating than those who have the authority or power to move people up a corporate ladder. The reason is simple transformational leaders understand that it isn’t about power or what can be demanded of people they work with, rather it is about building a relationship. Successful leaders in this position move beyond excuses; they move beyond self-interest, and focus on the larger goals of the group or organization.

Successful Leaders in this Position

While this position without power can leave many feeling helpless, those who are confident understand the great opportunity it brings to embrace the challenge. Their leadership will often stand the test of time. Successful leaders get the job done without formal authority. In the past, leaders have relied on their ability to offer rewards such as to increase pay for people who are helping us to accomplish our goals. This has included things such as bonuses, tenure, promotions, and so forth. However, in these less formal leadership positions motivation often takes the form of expressed appreciation, approval, personal assistance, or other interpersonal intrinsic motivators. Not everyone can be a leader without authority and succeed. Those who need control will struggle and most likely fail. So how do those who succeed do it? They understand and accept that people may exert influence without formal authority. Consultants, trainers, middle managers, teachers and many more people understand this position all too well. They also understand that influence is a skill that can be mastered. Transformational leaders learn to prepare instead of spending time repairing. This means these leaders are less impulsive and realize that short-term solutions could create long-term problems. Their ability to avoid a knee jerk reaction allows them to listen to the problem and to discover the problem that lies beneath the surface. The ability to take a more cautious approach improves their relationship with those they lead because it helps them to develop trust with by building a positive track record. Other skills that successful transformation leaders use include:

• Establishing personal and professional boundaries and then being consistent in maintaining these boundaries with co-workers.
• Helping those, they lead to reach for their dreams without a hidden agenda.
• Developing the potential of the people, they lead.
• Appreciating and valuing the uniqueness of the people they lead.

What Companies can do to increase the Success of Leaders without Authority Companies are learning that a streamlined corporate chart will have people in positions that lack authority. However, these leaders still have a voice and valuable insight about the people they lead. What companies do realize is that even before any restructuring there have always been leaders without authority, therefore what is needed is to empower these individuals and to listen to their input. Allowing a leader in this position to share insight and to receive help in placing the right people in the right positions only adds to the success of the company, as well as the success of the employees. Whenever possible leaders without authority should be given the opportunity to discuss mobility options so that the right people are put into the right positions.

Studies have shown that the effects of transformational leadership are generally much stronger than those of leaders with authority. After all, some of the greatest leaders in the world have been followed, because of their charisma and their ability to relate to people. Their leadership was not based on power, but was based on trust people had in them. While this is true, we also know that leaders who have authority and exhibit transformational leadership characteristics are even more successful than those leading without authority. For leaders, the intriguing question comes down to how to stimulate the combined leadership skills of both so that we may "rally the troops" and "make the trains run on time." Both of these skills are important, but they are most effective in an appropriate combination with the other.

Stuck in the Middle

Have you ever felt like you are stuck in the middle in a situation? Like no matter, what you do there is no easy way for you to come out ahead? This can happen for a variety of reasons and in a variety of situations that cause a person to feel stuck in the middle. We all know the feeling, it is awkward and negativity wears heavily on us, as we struggle and search for alternative ways to resolve a problem. Being caught in the middle can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. The worst part is that people in this position often become immobilized, which only increases the level of anxiety and stress symptoms. Inaction is our enemy when we are stuck in the middle.

First things First – Where is this happening?

First think about the situation where this happening. Is it at home or at work? At home, a child can be caught in the middle between arguing siblings or parents. A parent can be get placed in this awkward situation by a child who wants something that the parent will not let them have. Is at work, where a co-worker or boss has ask you handle a situation that you that you weren’t even a part of. Such as to discipline someone who broke a rule, when you weren’t event present to see it happen. Or perhaps you were asked to say nothing to a person who is about to get disciplined. All of these situations can create that awkward stuck in the middle feeling.

Now the What!

Assess the situation to understand why you are caught in the middle? Is this a pattern? Is it really your job to be the person to handle these situations? Have you allowed yourself to be placed her or manipulated into this situation? What are the risks if you speak up or ask to be removed from this middle position?

Sometimes we get caught in the middle because someone else doesn’t want to handle a conflict or a situation that could cause him or her to look bad, so this person dumps it onto us. If we don’t speak up for ourselves, we have then accepted the burden. We have also increased the chances that this person will put us in the middle again. We are creatures of habit and what works for me once I will try to see if it works again. The less resistant we are to being in the middle the more often we will find ourselves there.

Is there an alternative to being in the middle such as can you help to mediate the situation to the people that may be avoiding a discussion about a situation? This allows you to be objective and help teach people how to work through problems in the future without making you caught in the middle. Leaders and managers often find themselves caught in the middle because they are proficient at handling situations with employees while a co-worker or another manager may feel less than prepared to handle the situation. Examine the reason or cause that is placing you in the middle and determine if it really is a learning opportunity in disguise. Remove emotions and opinions about the person who has put you in the middle and objectively examine why you are here and why the person is placing you in the middle. Objectively examining this can help us see teaching opportunities that can prevent us from being caught in the same place again. Give support without removing responsibility from those you lead and you will find you are stuck in the middle less. Remember middle management is a position, not a place where we are suppose to feel stuck. Have a great week!

Mediocrity

Have you met people that seem content with giving less to their work or their life? They give only what needs to be given and no more. Remember, there is very little traffic on the extra-mile highway. Yet there are a thousand opportunities for people to travel down this road, but instead they just barely go the mile. When we accept excuses instead of accepting responsibility, we promote mediocrity. When we allow mediocrity to enter our lives, we miss opportunities.

We must be alert and willing to respond and to take action. I provide leadership training and work with a variety of companies. Recently I have been working with companies in the service - hospitality industry. One of the items the leaders recognize is the need to help teach customer service and selling skills to the employees. Employees who work on commission often get focused on meeting the goal for the month or the week and so they put their energy into meeting this pre-set goal and for not moving beyond it. In other words, they get locked into settling for less instead of more. For example, a server in a restaurant comes to work and sees each customer as a $ 3.00 tip. The result is the server misses the opportunity to go the extra-mile and to provide more service. The server misses the customers glance at the cheesecake on another persons table and asks about dessert as a fleeting thought instead of way to encourage the customer. If the customer says no, then the ticket goes on the table and yet another opportunity is missed, because maybe the customer wanted dessert, but was too full, if the server had offered then ask if they would like the dessert to-go perhaps for a late night snack, or a surprise for the kids who are home with the babysitter. So many options not explored. This happens when mediocrity attitudes direct the person to the outcome instead of the person directing the outcome.

How you ever come home from work been too tired to worry about taking care of bills or other items that needed to be done, but you did not want to do? We have all done this and perhaps even paid the consequences in terms of late fees if bills were late. Why? We settled for less and so our body gave us less, by not seeking the extra energy that we needed. We can grow old and not have lived or experienced life, because we take the easy road and don’t push ourselves to be ready to receive more.

Where is mediocrity in your life? Is it in relationships at home or at work? What are you willing to do to decrease mediocrity? Then this requires that we take action and eliminate our own mediocrity. This can mean that we need to manage time better, or better understand. What are they conserving the energy for? When we leave mediocrity behind we embrace possibilities and take responsibility for reaching higher. Suddenly we tap all our senses, our eyes see new opportunities that would once have been overlooked. Our ears tune into conversations that we would have once ignored and our intuition starts leading us toward opportunities we never dreamed were options. So eliminate excuses and to let go of mediocrity, begin today because to wait would be to do what the other people are doing. The extra-mile highway to success is yours if you are ready to travel!

No Excuses Approach

Have you ever known people who seem to full of excuses? Reasons why they can’t do something! This particular kind of helplessness can be exhausting. Working with individuals that make excuses is draining. The negativity and energy that they project into making their case, depletes positive energy as their excuses resonate as complaints. Beware of these people for they can infect a home or place of work and it can take a great deal of energy to reverse their affects.

People become like those who they are surrounded by! So leaders have to be the ones to project an atmosphere of positive attitudes. We must be aware that making excuses or complaining is easier that facing the task at hand. When we give in to these individuals, we empower them and weaken our ability to regain control so that their negative power is diminished. We must be confident in creating an No Excuses approach to facing challenges or obstacles at home and at work. When we understand the importance of this approach, we are able to examine each obstacle in a way that allows us to see solutions and to avoid running from the problem. Leaders that make excuses are only postponing the inevitable and the problems they are attempting to avoid will only get bigger and more difficult to resolve. As leaders, we should never become comfortable with half-truths or information that permits excuses. Instead, we have to work for taking action even with that action is uncomfortable.

Allowing people to make excuses only feeds their feelings of helplessness, dependence, and sense of inadequacy. Facing the choices and making a choice is actually easier and less draining than running from situations. Remember we have a right to choose our attitude and our response. People who choose excuses are running away from opportunities while people who choose to face the situation are about to learn and grow. There are times we all would like to run from having to make decisions, but when we make an excuse, we forfeit our ability to get through it on our own terms.

Consider having a discussion with yourself or with the people that we work with or live with.

Ask these questions: Do I make excuses? If so why? Am I willing to face the choices and to take charge of my life? If not what are you afraid of? Think back to your teen years! Teens spend the majority of their life wanting to be in charge of their own decisions. Tired of hearing parents or guardians tell them why they can’t do things. Then when we are old enough to make our own decisions, we have to be ware of copying people in our lives who made excuses that limited us.

What are people in your life or business making excuses about today? Is that they don’t have enough time? There aren’t enough resources? Etc. Gordon MacDonald says, “People who are out of shape mentally, fall victim to ideas that are destructive.” People who make excuses need to be taught how to shape their thoughts so that they take responsibility for their decisions and are willing to make decisions instead of excuses.

I recently completed a strategic planning retreat with a company that had a motto of No Excuses.

When ideas were presented they were allowed to share obstacles and challenges that they would face to meet the goals, but anything that sounded like an excuse was questioned. The group created a strategic plan filled with possibilities in with methods to make their goals a reality. There business is challenging and very unpredictable as are many and the future of their jobs depends on their success with very little control over government regulations, yet they have fully accepted that excuses will only prevent them from reaching their potential.

Businesses today will fold very quickly, if employees are allowed to be apathetic and to make excuses. Leaders and human resource personnel have to be clear about the expectations they have of the staff. We are renting behaviors when people come to work for us so make sure you are getting your money’s worth and rent the positive behaviors. Be prepared to teach people about the impact of negativity and help them understand the advantages of taking responsibility of their decisions instead of trying to excuse them away.

Communication Skills

Have you ever had a conversation where you felt you spoke, but the other person failed to listen? Too often, we convince ourselves we are listening when we are only hearing ourselves speak. Studies have shown that people speak 120 to 160 words per minute, yet they only hear an average of 14 words. While the noise is heard, the comprehension of what is being said is at best only 7% of what is being said.
The remaining 93% of communication is interpreted through body language and tone. Body language in America is given credit for 55% of what people hear while the tone impacts 38% of the message. How often are we doing one thing while instructing people to do something entirely different then frustrated because a task was done improperly. If how we say, what we say is such a large percentage of how we communicate then the cliché to “walk your talk” makes much more sense.

Barriers to Effective Communication

That means be aware of the need to listen and understand that there are numerous barriers to communicating. Here are some that you are probably already aware of:

o Not understanding the language
o Verbal and non-verbal messages are in a different language. This includes not understanding the jargon or idioms used by another sub-culture or group.
o Not understanding the context
o Not knowing the history of the occasion, relationship, or culture.
o Distraction
o Not giving adequate attention to processing the message in real-time, perhaps because of multitasking.
o Lack of time - there is rarely enough time to communicate with everyone.
o Physical barriers to the transmission of messages, such as background noise, facing the wrong way, talking too softly, and physical distance.
o Medical issues - Hearing loss and various brain conditions can hamper communication.
o Beliefs - World-views may discourage one person from listening to another.
o Emotions - Fear and anxiety associated with communication.

Make what you say matter

People in leadership positions need to communicate with silence more than with words. 70% of a leader’s time should be spent listening instead of speaking. This past week I have suffered from a severe case of laryngitis, a bad experience for a person who makes a living speaking. After making it through the week giving several full day programs, I needed to be able to speak at the National Speakers Association of Central Florida program as I was being inducted as this years President. The laryngitis prevented a long speech, but secured that I used the right message, which had the same effect. The moral to the story is that sometimes saying less, says more. The next time you want to communicate, remember that there are already plenty of barriers that can keep people from hearing your message, so make sure what you say is said at the right time and that it matters.

June is "Effective Communications" Month. Improve your business with better communication skills when it comes to dealing with potential clients, current customers, employees and more.

Clarity

Gaining clarity in life means that we look in more than one direction at a time and are ready to start and stop simultaneously. Doug Ivestor, President of Coca Cola is credited with saying, “Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.” We live in a world where we evaluate people on their past progress and collect data about what has happened while always trying to dream of what will be and what we want to happen.

Gaining clarity can allow us to discover answers. It is reported that 75% of the problems that overwhelm people can be resolved easily, if the problems are written down and evaluated clearly. We get so bogged down in feelings, circumstances, and excuses that it is easy to lose sight of the real problem. Seeing it in writing can change our whole perspective. In addition, it is important to gain clarity on what steps have been taken to solve the problem and thus determine what steps need to be taken to resolve the problem. Leaders need clarity if they are to lead others. In our busy life’s it is easy to lose clarity and to get caught up in activities that can steer us in the wrong direction.

Read the dashboard to gain clarity

Last week I lead a Strategic Planning Retreat for the National Speakers Association of Central Florida, as I will assume the role of President in June of 2006, thus the board and committees needed to gain clarity on our direction and goals. Clarity is best determined when information is examined objectively. Looking at information with feelings removed and with preconceived judgments eliminated, allows leaders to look at what the data or facts show. Is there a pattern and do the patterns give us information on what is happening in our industry and thus help us prepare a plan that will meet future needs and trends. Dave Timmons a member of our Board at NSA/CF used an analogy of the information we are seeking to gather for our association to that of a car’s dashboard. Drivers use the information on the dashboard to signal them about the cars performance. Lights and gauges allow the driver to know if the car is running at optimal level. When gauges get into red zones, or when certain lights come on they are indicating that there is a problem.

While collecting data can give us clear objectivity so we can look ahead, it is still important to learn lessons from the past relative to where we are now. What you do today creates a road map for where you will be tomorrow. What are your instruments telling you on your personal and professional dashboard? Are you ignoring signals because they are not what you want to hear? Are you prepared for the consequences that come from ignoring signals? Be careful and refrain from manipulating data or answers to make them look the way you want them to look. If you are willing to check the dashboard, then be ready to read the information correctly and to make adjustments accordingly.

Ask for clarity from the People

Leaders in business are too familiar with the concept of doing more with less. In order to optimize productivity it is vital to tap into the human resource capital available and increase the flow of ideas. Employee/member involvement is sound strategy in any system. Companies that have gone through changes need to revitalize staff, while secure companies already understand the risks of not tapping into every mind in the organization. Gaining clarity goes beyond crunching numbers on product sold, it includes asking for clarity from the people producing the product. Involving employees in the business and recognizing them for their extra contributions leads to greater employee satisfaction, a higher level of commitment, and an increase in overall employee performance. Today’s technology permits us to grab information effectively without having the old fashion suggestion box. Ideas can be collected and assessed with a few clicks of the computer. However, it takes more than just technology to make an idea management application work successfully. Surveys are merely a tool that can be used in conjunction with the a plan to act on the information obtained. Before embarking on a new idea or revitalizing an existing one, it is important to assess if it is worth the time and if it will have the support of others behind it. Consider the following when attempting to gain clarity on direction: ask for ideas, nurture ideas, implement ideas, measure ideas and reward people who share ideas. When ideas are approved, employees are motivated to continue submitting suggestions.

Ready to get clarity in your life or in your business then ask the right questions and get direction starting today.

Conflicts Part IV - Performance Management

In the last newsletter we discussed that managing difficult people is more about managing behaviors that create conflict. We also came to the realization that in the work setting we rent behaviors for a fee, also called a pay check. We have addressed several ways to resolve conflicts and how to identify problem behaviors to decrease conflicts from escalating. However, when a conflict is occurring in the work setting, inevitably will impact the job performance. Human resource professionals can help managers work through situations that may lead to termination. But what about the intervention steps before this.

As discussed earlier people are creatures of habits and therefore if we have neglected to address a problem in a timely manner, not to worry they will repeat it.

Address problematic behaviors within 72 hours or less. Addressing behaviors weeks later, is ineffective. If the event or situation is important enough that it needs to be addressed then doing this in a timely manner is necessary. The rule of thumb for 72 hours is to allow for a cool down time. Lets say an employee verbally threatens another employee. The angered employee makes a fist, yells and throws down an object that was in their hand. While the angered employee storms off, everyone within earshot has watched the scene unfold. The persons anger and actions need to be addressed. Calling them into your office to discuss this behavior is appropriate, but the goal of that meeting may be best spend simply de-escalating them, assuring that they are calmer when they leave and not a threat to the safety of others. Meeting with them a day or so later, may be in both parties best interest as the employee should have had some time to cool off and reflect on what happened to spark their flames. Neglecting to meet with this employee can have grave implications as others may become more fearful and the employee feels that the behavior has been excused. Please realize a single outburst does not necessarily mean that a person is violent, this outburst could be due to something physical, such as a change in blood pressure etc. Whatever the cause it, the person needs to be spoken with and needs to understand that such behavior is not tolerated.

When the time comes to meet with the employee, address the most recent issue. Unless this is a disciplinary action, bringing up the past pattern of behavior should be a last resort. The best place for the meeting should be in a neutral area, one that does not put the employee on guard, but provides safety for you. Ensure that the meeting will not be interrupted and sufficient time exists to complete the discussion. Ask the employee privately to come to the office, avoid creating further attention to the individual by paging him or her overhead. If the employee is having difficulty, controlling their temper such an announcement may reignite the behavior.

If for some reason, the employee cannot be met within 72 hours then plan to meet with him or her in no less than 2 weeks. There are sometimes extenuating circumstances, vacations, etc. that prevent people from meeting promptly, but avoid allowing any more time to pass than this.

Here is a simple formula that can be used to address performance management issues. This is a great tool for home and work.

For the leader, manager, teacher who needs to address an issue use the COPING method.

Clarify for yourself why this is a problem or a conflict. This clarification means that it can’t be personal, but must be a valid reason.

Objectively identify the facts. Be objective in examining the situation vs. subjective.

Patterns of behavior. Is this an isolated incident or one that has occurred before. Is there a history.

Investigate the facts as you know them. What can be validated? If this becomes a
reprimand than the facts are a must, is there a policy that has been violated?

Negotiation is going to be key. What is that needs to be done? Does a behavior
need to change. What will the new behavior or response look like. How can you describe it, if the person doesn’t seem to be aware that a change is needed.

Give them a chance to change. Is this an option? How long do they have to show that
there is a real change in this behavior? Be prepared to share this with the individual.

Once you have had the chance to work through the Coping Model it is time to use it with the employee. Prepared with your information, we allow the employee to see what he or she can offer as a solution etc.

Clarify with the employee why you are meeting. Offer for them to advise you of the
reason first. Allow them to ask questions to make sure that he or she understands.

Objectively listen to their story. Ask them to explain the situation without naming other employees or blaming other people. We are all responsible for our own behavior. No one can make us behave a certain way. We allow people to ignite us, and ultimately we are responsible for our reaction and response.

Patterns of performance or of a behavior. Put the employee’s performance in relative
terms is also a good tool to promote recognition of an issue, i.e., “Susan, while I
understand that you may feel that being late is beyond your control, your tardiness
record places you in the bottom 10% of the workforce in terms of reliability.”

Investigate and identify alternatives with the employee. Allow the employee to identify what could be done to prevent this from happening again.

Negotiate with the alternatives presented. What is acceptable and reasonable in the
work setting.

Give them a chance to demonstrate a change. Set a time line for checking back with them on observed changes.

Going through this analytical process prior to meeting with the employee allows a manager to focus his/her thoughts and guide the conversation more efficiently. Discussing performance/behavior with an employee is the most critical component of performance management and in keeping conflicts to a minimum.

The key in effectively dealing with a conflict or performance issue is to distinguish the person from his behaviors. Honoring an employee’s right to be treated professionally, courteously, and respectfully aligns equity on the side of the manager, and allows the relationship to survive the problem.

Perform coping today. It is easy to apply to a variety of situations, after all, COPING is what it is all about.

Conflict Resolution Part III

Is there blood running through the veins of your employees or coworkers, or is embalming fluid literally pumping the life out of your organization and pumping certain death into it? I am an optimistic person, I even have rose-colored glasses so I can see things from a very tainted point of view, but at the same time, I am a realist. In working with some organizations that are attempting to resolve conflicts, the reality is that we want to start with the people who are pumping the life out of an organization, when we ultimately need to start with the people that are still willing to pump life into the organization.

Yes, this is the path of least resistance. Some may see it as the easy way out, but I like the way my husband stated it: “you have to give up the hill to win the battle.” When dealing with conflict resolution there are some key items to understand.

1. What is at the core of the problem?

2. What is the behavior that is getting the reaction?

3. What is the group or person doing to derail the leader or us from seeing the problem?

4. Who is the scapegoat, or the person who is taking the heat and blame for the problem?

5. What (if anything) is the scapegoat doing to provoke or contribute to the situation?

6. What are other people doing that permits the person or people to sustain the conflict?

As we answer these questions, other elements need to be addressed, such as:

1. How does this group/team think?
2. Are they analytical, intuitive, or people-oriented?
3. Are the problems being resolved in a way that makes sense to their thought process?
4. If not, what can be done to improve this?

In the last two newsletters we talked about predictable patterns that occur when there are problems, how some people thrive on creating chaos and how others get caught up in it. (If you missed those newsletters just write us at newsletter@achievingcorporateexcellence.com and in the subject request Part I and II.) Now we have to dissect the problem on a more personal level. As leaders or people, being affected by the conflict what is that we are doing that is preventing us from resolving it promptly and professionally. Have we identified the core issue, or are we so busy shoveling dirt off of it that we can’t see the solution. Remember my saying, “At the root of every problem, lies the seed to it’s solution.” Once we know the core issue, we have to separate the person from the problem. See the first lesson is that he isn’t the problem, the behavior is, but our reaction to the behavior may be fueling the behavior and until we get our behavior or reactions in check, we will make very little progress.

What behaviors derail us from addressing the core issue? Are little fires started so that we never have time to deal with the big fire? Is blame put back on us in order to take the heat of the person exhibiting the behavior? Again what is your reaction that helps to keep this burning? What are the reactions of others on your team that prevent us from extinguishing the flame or from getting to the root of the problem? An internal flame can ignite an external flame.

Remember it is much easier for a third party person to see the behaviors and to get to the core of the issue. If you or your team is encountering conflicts, it will cost less in the long run to bring someone in to get the problem resolved than it will to ignore it, or to lose productivity while trying to figure it out. Problems that affect our employees affect our relationships with external customers and that can cost us even more. For example, a customer feels that they have been treated unfairly. Research shows that an unhappy customer will complain to a minimum of 15 other customers. Thus spreading a bad reputation. Worse yet is that 96% of all customers who have a complaint or conflict with something your business offers, will never tell you, they will simply take their business elsewhere. So when that one rare customer steps forward and identifies a problem be ready to step up to the opportunity. For a true sign of professionalism and personal growth is being able to turn a negative situation into a positive experience. 70% of complaining customers will continue to do business with you again if you resolve the problem in their favor. 95% will continue to do business with you if you resolve the problem on the spot.

Today what are you doing to solve problems internally or externally. Are you empowering the people you lead? Are you making them more aware of how to resolve conflicts with internal and external customers? Are you assessing their skills so that you can better prepare them to properly fight the battle and surrender the hill?

Who’s Fault is it? - Conflicts in the Workplace Part II

Have you ever tried to ignore a conflict hoping that it would just disappear? Most people have and for some minor issues, that may work at least temporarily. The problem with a negative conflict is that most people don’t have desire to make a change to eliminate it because confrontation seems too painful. There are four reasons people don’t want to address conflict or make a change. First, until the person feels that the cost of ignoring it is higher than the fear of facing it, the conflict will go on this is a bad habit to get into. Second, many people feel unequipped to address conflict. They don’t believe that they can personally or professionally address this situation and have some meaningful resolution. This leads to the third reason conflicts are unattended. Until personal fear is more painful than the situation people will tolerate the known instead of the unknown. Last, is that people often misunderstand that addressing a conflict means attacking a person. When addressing a conflict means that, we address the behavior.

Beware of Bad Habits such as Ignoring Conflicts

In the last newsletter, I shared some of the predictability of negative conflicts. Behaviors are predictable, because we are creatures of habit. When I work with companies who are working through conflict there are several predictable factors. First, is that this situation is far from new. It is the very rare occasion that it is the result of a recent change. Rather it is usually the result of having ignored problems for months and even years. Previously, we discussed the person whose behavior is generating conflict, as being a monkey grinder. This is the person who is sitting back very content stirring up trouble. They are skilled and able to get everyone to dance around trying to figure out how to solve a problem that they created. For them it is very entertaining. This person, for time being will be referred to as the grinder, will complain and blame others for problems. When people start to address problems and behaviors, or resolve problems, then this individual often resorts to the silent treatment. The grinder usually moves quickly from the silence to passive resistant to blatant unwillingness to resolve the problem, discounting all attempts to make things better. The grinder desperately wants things to go back to how they were, when he or she had control and knew what to expect from others. The fact that leadership is seeking resolution makes the person very uncomfortable and fearful.

In the blaming and complaining stage, the monkey grinder ultimately begins to seal his or her own fate. This person uses elaborate detail to trying to create a web of blame that stays away from him or her. The grinder identifies previous managers, supervisors, and employees citing case by case situations of how these people all failed to solve the problem and so here we are today still pretending to address it. I would say the grinder is right in that it is a pretense, if we are not willing to get to the real core of the problem this persons behavior. The grinder is often successful at derailing people with these attacks. Many people get distracted and want to defend themselves or defend the actions of people who have been there before them. Some explanation may be needed to assure that department members involved understand where we are and what we are doing different. Remember the grinder proclaims innocence having never done anything wrong, but is readily available to identify others who have. The grinder is trying to get people to take their side and to disprove any chance of change. What the grinder, seems to miss is that they are actually spelling out in the history that the one constant has been their presence at the company. The problem may have been that leadership at the time felt ill equipped to handle it and thus chose one of four easy and predictable routes: 1) ignore the situation and hope it goes away, 2) deny that there is a real problem, 3) avoid it by being unavailable, or 4) pretend to fix it by addressing an unrelated complaint.

Confronting the grinder

When the hostility or morale has become so severely impacted that management or leadership fears safety in the workplace is unpredictable or that productivity is down so much that it will effect the bottom line, then the fear of the newer problem is greater than the fear of the existing problem. The grinder is about to get confronted. Effective leaders recognize that there will be controversy and conflict in any work or home setting. However, leaders see that conflict can be positive key and help the company to grow, while negative conflict needs to be addressed in a timely fashion and in a professional manner to keep people involved. The quality and originality of decisions and the continuance of the group of good working condition is dependent on an environment that addresses negative conflict promptly.
Renting Behaviors

A leader’s job is not actually leading people, but being an example for how to behave. While a leader cannot control an employee’s beliefs, values, or morals, he may indeed influence the behaviors that are expected in a work setting. Failure to exhibit proper behaviors in the workplace may result in discipline or discharge. As an employer, we are basically renting an employee for their skills, knowledge and behaviors. We pay rent through compensation and benefits. What we are paying for is specific to the job and their skill level may exceed what we need in a work setting. Certain behaviors may or may not be tolerated at home, on the road or during a sporting event, but employers are renting only the behaviors that conform to the work setting. Sometimes people need to be reminded that work is an option, since most of the world is not on a work-release system; people are free to come to work and to quit a job that does not suit them.

Addressing a Problem

When employee behaviors conform to rules, there is little occasion for conflict. Problems arise quickly, however, when an employee exhibits behaviors that test the rules or show disrespect to co-workers. The first step to successfully addressing a behavior or performance issue is to identify the unsatisfactory behavior in factual terms. Be careful not to attribute attitudes, beliefs, or motives to the employee that may be inaccurate. In defining unsatisfactory behaviors, stick to what you know as fact, to what you saw or heard. It is most effective with these employees to name their behavior specifically asking them what they should have done differently. The key is to distinguishing the person from his behaviors. Honoring an employee’s right to be treated professionally, courteously, and respectfully aligns equity on the side of the leader or manager, and allows the relationship to survive the problem. In the end, employees and managers succeed or fail, together. Get them to develop a plan of action on what they can do in the future to avoid repeating this problem.

Remember conflict is natural. It is neither positive nor negative, it just is. Conflict is provides an opportunity to learn ways to work together instead of competing against one another. Take positive steps to deal with conflict. Educate your employees, managers and leader so that may handle conflicts professionally.

Define conflict and explain the importance of handling conflict in an organization.

Identify both positive and negative impacts of conflict in an organization.

Identify behavior patters that apply to stages of conflict and appropriate ways to handle conflict situations at each stage.

•Provide opportunities to develop strategies for handling conflict.
•Decrease conflicts by being multi-lingual.
•Initiate the development of essential assertive communication skills to assure
•Practice using fairness and firmness when resolving conflicts, to prevent creating additional conflict.
•Learn causes of conflict and proper ways to eliminate causes before conflict begins.
•Improve each person’s ability to properly diffuse conflict to prevent escalating situations.

Professional leadership promotes personal improvement, which promotes a more positive workplace and a positive community.
M anage and resolve conflict with confidence and assurance
A nticipate and prevent destructive/negative conflict
D deal with conflict and disagreements before they erupt and get out of control.
E ncourage the expression of differences when confronting them.

If your work environment is in need of help! Call us; do not wait until the situation is so bad that it has resulted in a hostile work environment or one that is impairing the emotional and physical health of others. Have a great day!

Who’s Fault is it? - Conflicts in the Workplace Part I

Conflict! It exists everywhere! But, what is conflict? Is it a negative situation or a disagreement that occurs between people? Does conflict drain have to be draining? Can conflict be positive? Conflict does exist everywhere. Conflict is a caused by a change in energy. A definition so simple that we can then understand that conflict can be negative yet it can also be very positive. When we change the way, we look at a problem we can be energized by the options and instead of drained by the task. In most environments, conflict is draining. It decreases productivity, morale and creates hostility as people attempt to avoid being the target.

Working with a variety of clients, I am called to work with people who are not working well together. My skills and expertise in conflict resolution, dealing with aggressive individuals, clinical skills etc., allow me get behind the facade. Conflicts that are negative typically seek out a person who can be blamed. For most conflict to exist, someone becomes the target or victim. As sad as it is the reality is that there are people in this world who are unhappy if people get along and if things go smoothly. These individual usually subconsciously seek to create trouble by identifying a person that has habits or qualities that they do not like. The target then becomes the focus of all the problems allowing the person who enjoys conflict to have a continuous statement of discontentment, which they do not have to be responsible for. It is sad and in many ways sick, but it is a reality.

Negative Conflicts

Negative conflicts such as the one mentioned above are very draining. The person who wants the conflict to exist spends a great deal of time and energy making sure that the focus remains on the target. Meetings and more meetings are held to discuss how the target can get along better with peers, when the person who I call the monkey grinder is sitting back very content. (I refer to the person stirring up trouble as a monkey grinder, because they get everyone to dance around trying to figure out how to solve a problem that they created. For them it is very entertaining. ) The target or victim responds as expected, this person is defensive and usually has just enough underlying personality traits to help them play the role of the martyr and is generally not a person that fits well with peers to start with, so they are accustom to this position and sometimes don‘t even see that they are being victimized. The cycle begins with the victim feeding into the plot of the monkey
grinder and then everyone dances around trying to make it all better.

If you are reading this and saying yes, Cindy we get it! We have the problem in our office! How do we fix it? Careful, all the TQM and Six Sigma or other quality improvement techniques do not fully apply here. These are people and quick fixes, which are permitted in a quality improvement setting; do not work with these situations. Chances are you already know this because some quick fixes have been tried. Including things like ignoring the individual that stirs up the problem, attempting to play nice, when it is not genuinely a part of what the participants want to do.

Where to Start

So where to does one start? Usually with an outside facilitator or consultant. This person has an objective view of the people and is seen by the people involved to be objective. The facilitator should have knowledge in human resources, so as to not break any laws or confidentiality. It is the responsibility of the facilitator to guide the members through a process that will help them to reveal the real issues and to take ownership of their behaviors. This means creating an atmosphere that is safe enough for people to speak openly and honestly about what is happening. When I work with groups experiencing this type of behavior, I have to realize that many people will play nice, while I am around. They will share the talk, but don’t want to walk the walk. They know how to say all the right things, but have no intention of applying it. Because if they apply the skills they need to apply, then people may get along and the fun stops. People may even notice this individual’s incompetence or whatever it is the grinder may be trying to hide. Luckily, we are human and humans are creatures of habit. This being said, in most situations people seek to live without disagreements, which is their habit to get along. Then there are people who try to put on a good face in a room, but who have quite another face to show in the workplace, eventually they will reveal themselves to the facilitator. Even if they do not fully reveal themselves, a trained person can see through the facade. The biggest concern comes when the individual stirring up the trouble is truly unable or even incapable of seeing the traits that she or he posses which either create or enhance the problem.

Address the Real Problem

Let’s start to address the problem. Identifying that a problem exists is the first step. As basic as this is, it can take more than one session to start to get to the issues out on the table. Realize that this is uncomfortable and almost everyone involved will make attempts to skirt the issue. This is typically done by discussing subjects or issues that are not the core problem, but which can mask or divert attention. Luckily, a skilled facilitator sees that these are items that need to be fixed and can be a quick fix, thus removing them from the table and returning the focus to the problem.

Listen to the Issues Objectively

Listen to the problems discussed, but listen without hearing names. Listen to the problem that is stated. Is it a communication problem? What is it about the communication that gets people upset? Is it a lack of communication or is it disrespect in how people communicate with one another? Review their examples to gain clarity on what you see the problem to be.

Clarify the Issues

Clarify the problems that they have brought up. It is important that the group have consensus and understanding about the issues and that they accept that these issues would still exist even without the victim or target. Clarity increases ownership and is the first step in moving people beyond airing dirty laundry. In other words, it is how we begin to end the Ain’t It Awful session and see what can be done to make things better.

Conflicts don’t happen over night nor do they go away over night. It takes time. Remember that at the root of every conflict lies the seed to its solution. This means that people cannot complain unless they have an idea of how to make it better. In the next newsletter, we will continue to work on resolving issues that make work unproductive and increase poor morale.

Stay tuned. If your work environment is in need of help! Call us; do not wait until the situation is so bad that it has resulted in a hostile work environment or one that is impairing the emotional and physical health of others. Have a great day!

The Importance of Today

Have you ever spent time worrying about tomorrow? Or thinking about what happened yesterday? As a leader, we have a responsibility of planning for tomorrow and for knowing why things happened yesterday. But our biggest challenge is living fully today. We have to set the examples for those we lead. If we made mistakes in the past today, is our day to correct it. This means staying focused on the day and fulfilling promises made today.

Perhaps you have met people who give yesterday more time than today. I often work with businesses, who are struggling because employees are living in the past. They resent changes being made, sometimes because they are fearful of the future. While others, I meet who are having problems getting along are fuming over events that happened in the past. By the time, the company decides that they need to bring in an outside resource such as myself; the level of frustration is often so high, I wonder if combat pay should be involved. I know from training and experience that when I work with these employees that progress will be slow. They tend to have a need to dwell in the past, wanting to rehash what could have been done to present this and what should’ve been done earlier. For some of the people they must express their concerns and apprehensions based on the past. However, as the leader, I know we have to move them beyond the yesterdays and in to today. The danger is that without proper guidance these individuals can very easily get caught up in the Ain’t It Awful Club, where their only focus is on what has been going wrong, instead of what they can do to take charge of improving today and the future. Dwelling in the past not only prevents from living fully in today, it allows people to get hooked into a blame game, thereby avoiding responsibility for making changes today.

The only day we can really live is today. So today, consider deleting worries and trouble by deleting two days tomorrow and yesterday. Lead others into facing today and letting go the baggage of yesterday. Promote a healthy work environment today. Face life with all the energy possible. Make each decision with conviction and determination. This day will never return and it could be our last opportunity to leave a legacy, to see the sunrise, to touch someone’s life in a positive way. To share information so that those we lead can lead without us present. Be courageous enough today to lead without regrets.

Today is important be careful what you do with it! What if today never ended and tomorrow never came?

Working with Passion Part II

Leaders need to be genuine about their passion attempts to fake it in order to energize people around them can create problems larger than have a robotic uninvolved staff. If the passion is not authentic then the person faking it is seen as a fake, destroying their credibility.


Passion Assessment:

What one thing are you passionate about? If this thing or person were removed from your life you would feel that a part of your life would be extinguished without it? This is something or someone that brings you passion.

Why are you passionate about this?

How would life be different if this thing were removed from your life?

Are you passionate enough to start a project or to build a relationship with someone knowing that you may never see the projects completion or that the relationship could be limited by time?

Do you have the strength and desire to accomplish great things? Why or why not?

Are you willing to share your passion?

Passion Extinguishes Burn-Out

A person who works 40 hours a week spends 60% of their awake hours at work. If at the end of the week all they feel is that they worked for 40 hours and received a paycheck in exchange. Both the employee and employer are being shortchanged. The employer is dealing with an employee who has quit but still shows up for the paycheck. The employee is stuck a routine of drudgery instead of doing what they enjoy. They need to be energized or they may need to move on. Leaders may try to ignite the passion in others or they may have to assess if this person is willing to be revived.

Here is a Way to Transfer Passion to Others

Encourage employees to express their passion and increase their zest for life. People who are passionate about life have an allure that attracts people. This attraction supersedes expensive clothing, money, and having a popular car. Regardless of age, people can the authenticity and depth of enthusiasm that radiates from these individuals. Too often people are afraid of burning out so they hold back and stop living life to the fullest. As sad as it is the reality is that there are some people who have never tasted the richness of passion in life. They lack an understanding of how to inhale the aroma that can fill their life and lungs with an energy that creates an overflow. Instead these people are suffocated by fear and reluctance to reach for all that life has to offer. As a leader we need to be willing to set the example to help them understand that a life goal should be to desire more than we can accomplish and live each day to soar higher. Live for the moment and spend more time enjoying reality than seeking an escape.

Imagine the return that comes from living with passion.

Suddenly every second, every minute, every hour has more meaning and it is lived more fully. We are more open to fully experience every interaction. Our roles have more meaning, whether it is being a parent, or in a relationship. When our actions are influenced by our passion life is more intense and more fulfilling. Our roles in the business world become clearer. What we are selling or marketing is more than a product it is an item that helps us to meet the needs of our customers. We are providing goods and services that add positive value to the people we serve. Best of all the people we serve see our genuine desire to help them and they want to do business with us.

Passion shapes our existence, fuels the fires of inspiration and makes the heart and mind open to changes all around us. It is food for the soul, a spark that re-illuminates our purpose and mission for being here. When we experience a critical moment in our life it is passion that helps us find the strength to continue. Passion is ours to experience and revel in. And even if it causes us some bumps and bruises as we struggle to take off and fly higher we are reaching for what is rightfully ours the right to see all that life has to offer by discover all that we can put into life every day in every way.