Last month the newsletter addressed stress and worry. This series will address how to address issues that are intoxicating and if not properly addressed add stress to our lives.
Have you ever worked with someone who is more concerned about what everyone else is doing at work than doing their job? Does this person create more conflict than unity in the workplace? Over the past few weeks, I have been hearing more stories about these employees as I have been providing programs on Handling Difficult Conversations, Dealing with Aggressive Individuals, and of course, Stress Management. The underlying item that the audience keeps identifying is that it is one of their good employees, who of course is not in attendance, that is creating the problem. Good employees don’t cause us stress, they don’t create a hostile work environment, and they don’t create a loss in productivity because they are driving down morale. To use the phrase “good employee” followed by a description that they are doing anything hostile is an oxymoron! The interesting issue is that the employers or co-workers often attempt to explain away the negative behaviors hoping that while they see the problem the employee is having they will understand how valuable this employee is for the organization. One common problem is that the person who needs to address the behaviors of this alleged “good employee” is either too close to the situation to see the utter devastation that is occurring or the leader with authority to take action is choosing to take no action and is ignoring the problem altogether. Most of us realize that the alleged good employee needs to be referred to by a phrase that better describes what they are, a Toxic Employee, or in some cases an abusive or hostile employee. Whatever phrase you use we can see that retaining an employee who is destructive to morale is costly. This can often be seen by looking at the number of employees who have left after having had to work with this toxic individual, the records may reveal a great deal of carnage if there have been no attempts to address the problem. A sad factor exist for those employees who have left because of this situation, many of them experience long emotional repercussions from this encounter.
For many managers and leaders it is easier to examine the issue by using the analogy of the employee in question being described as toxic or as an abuser. For those of us that live a healthy life and have a healthy view of how to treat one another, we would not willingly or knowingly invite an emotionally or verbally abusive person to come live in our home and give them free rein over everyone in it. But in the workplace, some employees are very skillful at flying under the radar. They secure the skills and the knowledge that causes them to appear invaluable and irreplaceable. While the analogy of the toxicity or abuser may seem extreme, the seriousness of the situation needs to addressed. Toxic employees, like abusers, create a sense of dependency or reliance. They put down the people they work with or live with in order to make themselves feel better. Many leaders or managers dismiss the idea that one person is responsible for the undercurrent. The employee who is stirring the pot, to use an old cliché, has a knack for turning situations around so that it isn’t their responsibility or fault, but rather it is almost always someone else’s fault and he or she is the innocent victim.
So how do you know if you have a toxic employee in your workforce or in your life? Look for the following signs.
1) This person constantly reports on or makes accusations about the behaviors of co-workers, when that is not their responsibility to report on these actions.
2). They discourage the interaction of others with targeted co-workers and when that co-worker is gone they select a new victim.
3) A consistent inability to accept responsibility for their behavior and actions, even in the face of dire consequences.
4) Inability to respect interpersonal boundaries, a compulsion to violate boundaries. (For example they may be constantly needing to meet with a Supervisor, ignoring protocol for an appointment, or meeting with a manager or supervisor without concern for the amount of time they are taking.)
So what is the good news and the bad news: The good news is that if you step back you can see the traits and then identify the behaviors objectively so that human resources or policies and procedures can serve as your guide to address the person’s actions.
Use a COPING Model to help see the behaviors objectively:
Clarify exactly what the problem or behavior is - inability to work with peers, inability to follow the rules. (If anyone else were doing this, would this behavior be tolerated, for example a new employee under probation?)
Objectively identify the facts – interpersonal skill, communication skills, teamwork.
Patterns of behavior - frequency that behavior is exhibited, this is usually the easiest one to see.
Investigate the options – What is it that you expect from them? What behavior is required?
Negotiate the options to correct the problem – Is there an opportunity for corrective action? How will this be identified? Be very specific on expected behaviors, if this is an option.
Give the options a chance to be met.
The bad news is that if one of these employees has been in your organization for more than 90 days, then for some reason their actions have been ignored and they believe that their actions are acceptable. Because that behavior isn’t okay it must be addressed and should be addressed as soon as they commit their next deed, and they will, because they are creatures of habit. The other bad news is that these individuals’ actions don’t go away if we ignore them, instead they only get worse over time but they may become more covert in their approach, especially in a work setting. Stay tuned for other ways to detox your life and make it Stress Free.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Stress and Worry- Take Control
Have you ever found yourself worried or stressed? Do you know what prompted this feeling? Did it take up time in your day? Stress is a reaction to an event, or a thought. Most reactions to stress are negative and thus are often interchangeably referred to as worry. When negative stress, or worry robs us of joy, it keeps us awake even though it is beyond our control. So when worry, or stress comes knocking on your door, think before letting them enter your life. Many people say we can’t prevent stress, or worry but when we examine more carefully what we worry about we find that 40% of it never happens, 30% already happened in the past so we can’t change it anyway, 12% is personal criticism either about others or criticism we have toward others, which is unproductive either way, 10% is health related and 8% of that which we worry about actually has validity, but worrying or stressing about it is still an unproductive way of handling it.
We actually have to practice giving up our worry or casting it out of our lives. Everyday, consciously decide if what you are worrying about deserves time in your day, what will you gain from giving time to this matter and what can you lose by giving time to worry. A precious moment may escape you because you are preoccupied by something that you can’t change or fretting over something that won’t even happen. Stress currently accounts for 45 to 90% of the medical expenses. According to the Encyclopedia of Occupational Safety and Health - Stress is the leading cause of death as it is the leading contributor to Heart Disease, Cancer, Lung Disorders, Accidents, Cirrhosis of the Liver, and Suicide.
Just as research and statistics show that negative thoughts can decrease our health research also shows that actions that promote positive emotions are beneficial to health. In one study, people were asked to count their blessings. People who “counted their blessings” weekly for 10 weeks by listing things for which they were grateful, or thankful had better health outcomes, fewer physical complaints, spent more time exercising, and had better sleep quality. So renew your commitment daily to worry less because so that you add vitality and energy to your life. Accentuate the positive events in your day. It may not be possible to be completely worry or stress free, but we can choose how much time we will allow negative thoughts to consume in our day. The more time we give negativity the higher the price we pay. My ultimate question is whether or not what you are worrying about or stressed about is worth dying over? No – it isn’t! Then begin taking control of your stress.
Here are the six R’s for stress management:
1. Responsibility – You are in control of where you put your energy and thoughts.
2. Reflection – know your stress triggers and be aware of stress symptoms so that you are ready to prevent them from taking over your thoughts and your day.
3. Relaxation – Schedule worry free – stress free time at least once a day, or as I share in my programs take at least 3 cleansing breaths a day.
4. Relationships – maintain a supportive relationship that helps to strengthen you and establish clear boundaries in relationships that have the ability to drain you.
5. Refueling – eat healthy foods that are high in fiber, low in salt and cholesterol and have protein to refuel the brain.
6. Recreation time – make time every day to exercise your body, enjoy life – to have fun and laugh.
“In one minute I can change my attitude, and that minute can change my entire day.” Author Unknown.
I can only hope you are willing to hear that you have an active choice about letting negative stress into your life and into your mind. Start now, make choices that allow you to enjoy your life. The life we have today never looks like the life we had yesterday. Something is always changing and evolving. Looking forward helps us to reach to new goals. Looking back and longing for what we had or what we lost can be very destructive and disempowering as it stunts our growth. Letting go of negative stress and worry gives us more time and opportunities to be happier, to be healthier, and to move forward.
(It was great to see so many familiar faces at the One Goal Conference in Tampa July 2010.)
Feel free to forward this newsletter to others or email us if you wish to subscribe. Achieving Corporate Excellence, Inc.
We actually have to practice giving up our worry or casting it out of our lives. Everyday, consciously decide if what you are worrying about deserves time in your day, what will you gain from giving time to this matter and what can you lose by giving time to worry. A precious moment may escape you because you are preoccupied by something that you can’t change or fretting over something that won’t even happen. Stress currently accounts for 45 to 90% of the medical expenses. According to the Encyclopedia of Occupational Safety and Health - Stress is the leading cause of death as it is the leading contributor to Heart Disease, Cancer, Lung Disorders, Accidents, Cirrhosis of the Liver, and Suicide.
Just as research and statistics show that negative thoughts can decrease our health research also shows that actions that promote positive emotions are beneficial to health. In one study, people were asked to count their blessings. People who “counted their blessings” weekly for 10 weeks by listing things for which they were grateful, or thankful had better health outcomes, fewer physical complaints, spent more time exercising, and had better sleep quality. So renew your commitment daily to worry less because so that you add vitality and energy to your life. Accentuate the positive events in your day. It may not be possible to be completely worry or stress free, but we can choose how much time we will allow negative thoughts to consume in our day. The more time we give negativity the higher the price we pay. My ultimate question is whether or not what you are worrying about or stressed about is worth dying over? No – it isn’t! Then begin taking control of your stress.
Here are the six R’s for stress management:
1. Responsibility – You are in control of where you put your energy and thoughts.
2. Reflection – know your stress triggers and be aware of stress symptoms so that you are ready to prevent them from taking over your thoughts and your day.
3. Relaxation – Schedule worry free – stress free time at least once a day, or as I share in my programs take at least 3 cleansing breaths a day.
4. Relationships – maintain a supportive relationship that helps to strengthen you and establish clear boundaries in relationships that have the ability to drain you.
5. Refueling – eat healthy foods that are high in fiber, low in salt and cholesterol and have protein to refuel the brain.
6. Recreation time – make time every day to exercise your body, enjoy life – to have fun and laugh.
“In one minute I can change my attitude, and that minute can change my entire day.” Author Unknown.
I can only hope you are willing to hear that you have an active choice about letting negative stress into your life and into your mind. Start now, make choices that allow you to enjoy your life. The life we have today never looks like the life we had yesterday. Something is always changing and evolving. Looking forward helps us to reach to new goals. Looking back and longing for what we had or what we lost can be very destructive and disempowering as it stunts our growth. Letting go of negative stress and worry gives us more time and opportunities to be happier, to be healthier, and to move forward.
(It was great to see so many familiar faces at the One Goal Conference in Tampa July 2010.)
Feel free to forward this newsletter to others or email us if you wish to subscribe. Achieving Corporate Excellence, Inc.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Understanding how to Lead Effectively Is Vital
Have you ever worked with or for someone who was an ineffective leader? Worse do you know someone who was a great employee, but when this person received a new responsibility or a job promotion, the title or the responsibility changed them? We know that ineffective leaders decrease morale and decrease productivity. But when the ineffective leader was once a trusted colleague the repercussions often end in job termination for effective employees and this is only part of the fall out.
Being an effective leader at any level means that you have the ability to look beyond the moment and to consider that every action taken has a reaction. That reaction can cause long lasting effects that either may positively or negatively outlast the individual who started the action. I have worked with many organizations and people who have been mindful of their actions and how what they do will play out into the future for both the employees and the company. I have also seen those who seem oblivious of how their actions and the recourse their actions will have on the company or the people they supervise.
In the past two months, I have been from Orlando to DC to Houston and talked on Leading Without Authority, Recruiting and Change at different locations. During the course of these travels I have had the opportunity to be in a position like the Undercover Boss or Mystery Shopper for a company and not only watched but experienced firsthand the fallout when an employee who was promoted from within, attempted to manage, and refused to seek help. It is as if this person, who was once a part of the team, suddenly had a personality transformation for the worse. This involved, caring individual crumbled under the pressure, they became insensitive and blind to the needs of the people they were to manage. It left everyone confused including the new manager. There are many reasons why this alleged personality change occurred. The new manager had a wealth of knowledge on the service or product they provided, but lacked an understanding of how to manage people or how to apply critical thinking skills.
Increased responsibilities either help us demonstrate our skills or demonstrate our insecurities that result in poor decisions. Being placed in a position that gives us responsibilities, but fails to empower us only adds to insecurities and a sense of helplessness. (It is possible to be an effective leader without authority but that is for another newsletter). For a novice leader insecurities or inadequate preparation can cause them to feel disempowered. In the case I worked, the new manager took the position of fighting and was cruel and demeaning to formerly loyal employees and colleagues. While I was there to perform this task the managers attempts to gain authority were belittling and made me want to leave, but I had to remember I had a choice and I was trying to help a company solve a problems so I stayed and listened. I did try some mild interjections to keep my cover, when the individual used threats and fear as a technique to gain compliance. Threats and fear are not only an ineffective motivators, but at best they are only temporary.
As was predictable the person I was observing was driven by their own fear and the realization that they were not pleasing the people that work for them, thus they attempted to play a dangerous game in hopes that he or she would be considered in-expendable. The reality is we are expendable. The new manager engaged in the YES game. Saying yes to the person who gave them the position or the authority in the hopes that pleasing their boss, will guarantee some job security while they are making big mistakes everywhere else. For some that I have observed they have sold their soul and lost themselves, perhaps forever. Yet people assume that if they just try to get on the good side of the person that promoted them, then they will be more secure. If that is the case, then the new manager really needs to do some personal examination to see why he or she is having insecurities or doubts and is hesitant to speak up and to use their knowledge. The person is attempting to lead with authority but is leading without skill and the repercussions are many. Regardless of the insecurities of the new manager or the strategy, being taken a poor leader creates big problems for those they lead. The manager and the employees all struggle to find their place and during this time productivity plummets, mutual respect vanishes, and morale hits bottom.
So what can be done? For the new manager, much needs to be done to assure that they are willing to take the risk to speak up for their position, to gain clarity and to assess if they are in the right role. Once I had collected a few days to determine consistency in behaviors in different situations, it was obvious that personal coaching was needed if we were save the department and this individual. In addition, understanding how to communicate effectively, education on personality styles and then just basic leadership skills to get them started. This was an awesome project and the individual and the department have the possibility to move forward. But there are other situations where companies don’t get the inside scoop only the human resource department starts to notice that there is a commonality to people who are asking to move out of a department or who are being let go, when in the past they had been considered a good employee.
So what are you doing to keep productivity and morale up when other factors are working to decrease it. How are you helping your leaders to stay effective and assuring that they are getting the help they need to help motivate and retain existing employees? Be careful the choices you make, because you may be held accountable and have to take responsibility for them.
*************************************************************************************
May you have a great start to 2010. Hope to see you soon!
Bring a program to your City: Schedule a program while Cindy is in your area.
Upcoming Events:
Big Brothers Big Sisters, Port St. Lucie, FL - June 2010
June 28th Fire Inspectors Conference – Keynote on Personalities in the Workplace
Breakout session – Managing Time before it Manages You.
August –25-28 Private Facilitating Business Planning Retreat in Palm Beach Gardens
October 11 – Dallas HR Conference – Coping with Diversity of Change.
*************************
WEBINARS and TELESEMINARS
Scheduled programs can be delivered directly to your organization or professional association.
Call ((772) 461-8313 USA Eastern Standard Time or Contact us for availability and fee schedule.
Have to watch the budget but still need to have training that has value. Then let us provide a teleconference or webinar just for your dept or organization. Contact us today to set up a program that will benefit your company and employees. Our time is your time, time zones and shifts are no problems. Let us see what we can do to offer what you need.
Being an effective leader at any level means that you have the ability to look beyond the moment and to consider that every action taken has a reaction. That reaction can cause long lasting effects that either may positively or negatively outlast the individual who started the action. I have worked with many organizations and people who have been mindful of their actions and how what they do will play out into the future for both the employees and the company. I have also seen those who seem oblivious of how their actions and the recourse their actions will have on the company or the people they supervise.
In the past two months, I have been from Orlando to DC to Houston and talked on Leading Without Authority, Recruiting and Change at different locations. During the course of these travels I have had the opportunity to be in a position like the Undercover Boss or Mystery Shopper for a company and not only watched but experienced firsthand the fallout when an employee who was promoted from within, attempted to manage, and refused to seek help. It is as if this person, who was once a part of the team, suddenly had a personality transformation for the worse. This involved, caring individual crumbled under the pressure, they became insensitive and blind to the needs of the people they were to manage. It left everyone confused including the new manager. There are many reasons why this alleged personality change occurred. The new manager had a wealth of knowledge on the service or product they provided, but lacked an understanding of how to manage people or how to apply critical thinking skills.
Increased responsibilities either help us demonstrate our skills or demonstrate our insecurities that result in poor decisions. Being placed in a position that gives us responsibilities, but fails to empower us only adds to insecurities and a sense of helplessness. (It is possible to be an effective leader without authority but that is for another newsletter). For a novice leader insecurities or inadequate preparation can cause them to feel disempowered. In the case I worked, the new manager took the position of fighting and was cruel and demeaning to formerly loyal employees and colleagues. While I was there to perform this task the managers attempts to gain authority were belittling and made me want to leave, but I had to remember I had a choice and I was trying to help a company solve a problems so I stayed and listened. I did try some mild interjections to keep my cover, when the individual used threats and fear as a technique to gain compliance. Threats and fear are not only an ineffective motivators, but at best they are only temporary.
As was predictable the person I was observing was driven by their own fear and the realization that they were not pleasing the people that work for them, thus they attempted to play a dangerous game in hopes that he or she would be considered in-expendable. The reality is we are expendable. The new manager engaged in the YES game. Saying yes to the person who gave them the position or the authority in the hopes that pleasing their boss, will guarantee some job security while they are making big mistakes everywhere else. For some that I have observed they have sold their soul and lost themselves, perhaps forever. Yet people assume that if they just try to get on the good side of the person that promoted them, then they will be more secure. If that is the case, then the new manager really needs to do some personal examination to see why he or she is having insecurities or doubts and is hesitant to speak up and to use their knowledge. The person is attempting to lead with authority but is leading without skill and the repercussions are many. Regardless of the insecurities of the new manager or the strategy, being taken a poor leader creates big problems for those they lead. The manager and the employees all struggle to find their place and during this time productivity plummets, mutual respect vanishes, and morale hits bottom.
So what can be done? For the new manager, much needs to be done to assure that they are willing to take the risk to speak up for their position, to gain clarity and to assess if they are in the right role. Once I had collected a few days to determine consistency in behaviors in different situations, it was obvious that personal coaching was needed if we were save the department and this individual. In addition, understanding how to communicate effectively, education on personality styles and then just basic leadership skills to get them started. This was an awesome project and the individual and the department have the possibility to move forward. But there are other situations where companies don’t get the inside scoop only the human resource department starts to notice that there is a commonality to people who are asking to move out of a department or who are being let go, when in the past they had been considered a good employee.
So what are you doing to keep productivity and morale up when other factors are working to decrease it. How are you helping your leaders to stay effective and assuring that they are getting the help they need to help motivate and retain existing employees? Be careful the choices you make, because you may be held accountable and have to take responsibility for them.
*************************************************************************************
May you have a great start to 2010. Hope to see you soon!
Bring a program to your City: Schedule a program while Cindy is in your area.
Upcoming Events:
Big Brothers Big Sisters, Port St. Lucie, FL - June 2010
June 28th Fire Inspectors Conference – Keynote on Personalities in the Workplace
Breakout session – Managing Time before it Manages You.
August –25-28 Private Facilitating Business Planning Retreat in Palm Beach Gardens
October 11 – Dallas HR Conference – Coping with Diversity of Change.
*************************
WEBINARS and TELESEMINARS
Scheduled programs can be delivered directly to your organization or professional association.
Call ((772) 461-8313 USA Eastern Standard Time or Contact us for availability and fee schedule.
Have to watch the budget but still need to have training that has value. Then let us provide a teleconference or webinar just for your dept or organization. Contact us today to set up a program that will benefit your company and employees. Our time is your time, time zones and shifts are no problems. Let us see what we can do to offer what you need.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Making a Mistake
Have you ever made a mistake or been informed that an action you took was a mistake? How did you feel about the feedback or information? What did you do as a result of this feedback or information? Feedback is essential, it is even more important if the feedback is in regards to an error that was made. The challenge with feedback is to learn how to hear what is shared and to take the proper action.
Basic customer service instructs us that when something goes wrong we should use what I call the AAA technique. Acknowledge the problem; Apologize for the problem and then make amends to fix the problem. Using all of the AAA’s together is essential but while this may sound very simple, we can get hung up on any one of these three areas. Acknowledgement is challenging. For some issues, this may mean that you personally have to take ownership of what happened. Many times this also means that you are not given the opportunity to defend or explain why it happened. That is what makes acknowledgment so challenging. For example if you are a waiter or server in a fast food restaurant and an order is delayed, it is important to acknowledge the delay to your customer. The customer does not want to hear that someone else took their hamburger or that you their order was lost, they simply want you to acknowledge that it happened. If you are in construction and a railing or wall is not meeting or passing code. The inspector and company hiring you doesn’t care why it happened, even though the explanation may be logical, they do care that it happened and that it will be fixed.
So what makes this part of customer service so frustrating? It is usually because our job or career gives us personal identity and we take pride in what we do. So when a problem occurs, we feel a sense of ownership and a sense of disappointment for either being unable to prevent it or unable to explain in advance what was happening, thus perhaps preventing the customer from being displeased. So what can we do to decrease the frustration? We must see it as an opportunity to grow. We may grow because the person sharing genuinely cares. Remember 90% of customer complaints are a cry from a customer who wants to see the problem fixed, as they would like to remain a customer. So hear their feedback about the problem or mistake, understand why they are sharing, and identify how you will address a situation in the future for that customer or any other then move forward. Here is where we meet our challenges to grow. First we need to detach or give up our desire to explain our actions . It can take us quite a while to realize that those explanations are t just is not going to happen. Secondly, we have to find a way to cope with the lack of closure about the issue, since there is not an opportunity to explain our side. This leaves us with the burden of ownership and the sense of having unintentionally disappointed someone. Unfortunately, this can cause us to get stuck yet again, unless we have learned techniques to help us move forward, so that we don’t get bogged down in second-guessing ourselves. Personalities, professions, and our own personal baggage can affect how we move forward or how we can we become immobilized.
I have the pleasure of working with many wonderful people and I am always learning from them. I recently worked with a very large construction firm and had the pleasure of watching their President address problems when they occurred. This individual has a very dominating personality and is a quick thinker. For those of you familiar with the Myers Briggs this individual’s personality style would be most likely to be an Extrovert, Intuitor, Thinker, and Judging. I could see that he had resolved the problem and moved on to the solution, before the individual presenting the problem had even finished explaining the problem. There is something to be appreciated in that personality style and that is that they do not dwell on the problem nor do they dwell on the mistake, they identify it and move forward with very little baggage, but with lessons learned. The problem is when your personality style is the opposite areas such as an Introvert, Sensor, Feeler, and Perceiving. The Introvert dislikes conflicts or problems. The sensor has a need to get the details correct; being off on a measurement isn’t acceptable and is a flaw that they struggle to get beyond. The feeler doesn’t want to disappoint anyone and internalizes and dwells on perceived mistakes. The Perceiving personality struggles to make decisions for fear of making the wrong one, and making a mistake only reinforces their insecurity and lack of self-confidence.
So if we have a strong personality how do we help those who work with us decrease the stress that may be felt when mistakes occur. Reinforce positive satisfaction with the job that is being preformed. Attempt to understand that the person your giving feedback to may need time to share or to vent and allowing them to have a discussion with you can help them move forward faster and can improve their relationship with you. As a leader it is important to remember that there is more to life than what we need and want, if we are to grow those around us we need to work on our ability to demonstrate empathy with a variety or personalities.
How do we get through mistakes on our own. Give yourself a mental break. Step outside look down the block and count atleast 10 things in nature that you can see. Take a moment to appreciate the noises of nature, the wind and take a deep cleansing breath. During the day when the mistake creeps into your mind and you begin to beat yourself up or worse put yourself down because it happened, stop and realize it isn’t the first time that it has ever occurred. You have lived through problems or situations like this before and you will live through this event too. You will grow stronger as a person and as a professional. Mistakes will occur, whether made by accident or whether they are the result of a person’s perception of the situation. The biggest mistake we can make is to ignore the lesson that lies within the situation and to beat ourselves up over the past. We can’t undo yesterday, last week or last year, we can make today better and work to improve our tomorrows and our future. Dwelling on what has been prevents us from making what can be better.
Basic customer service instructs us that when something goes wrong we should use what I call the AAA technique. Acknowledge the problem; Apologize for the problem and then make amends to fix the problem. Using all of the AAA’s together is essential but while this may sound very simple, we can get hung up on any one of these three areas. Acknowledgement is challenging. For some issues, this may mean that you personally have to take ownership of what happened. Many times this also means that you are not given the opportunity to defend or explain why it happened. That is what makes acknowledgment so challenging. For example if you are a waiter or server in a fast food restaurant and an order is delayed, it is important to acknowledge the delay to your customer. The customer does not want to hear that someone else took their hamburger or that you their order was lost, they simply want you to acknowledge that it happened. If you are in construction and a railing or wall is not meeting or passing code. The inspector and company hiring you doesn’t care why it happened, even though the explanation may be logical, they do care that it happened and that it will be fixed.
So what makes this part of customer service so frustrating? It is usually because our job or career gives us personal identity and we take pride in what we do. So when a problem occurs, we feel a sense of ownership and a sense of disappointment for either being unable to prevent it or unable to explain in advance what was happening, thus perhaps preventing the customer from being displeased. So what can we do to decrease the frustration? We must see it as an opportunity to grow. We may grow because the person sharing genuinely cares. Remember 90% of customer complaints are a cry from a customer who wants to see the problem fixed, as they would like to remain a customer. So hear their feedback about the problem or mistake, understand why they are sharing, and identify how you will address a situation in the future for that customer or any other then move forward. Here is where we meet our challenges to grow. First we need to detach or give up our desire to explain our actions . It can take us quite a while to realize that those explanations are t just is not going to happen. Secondly, we have to find a way to cope with the lack of closure about the issue, since there is not an opportunity to explain our side. This leaves us with the burden of ownership and the sense of having unintentionally disappointed someone. Unfortunately, this can cause us to get stuck yet again, unless we have learned techniques to help us move forward, so that we don’t get bogged down in second-guessing ourselves. Personalities, professions, and our own personal baggage can affect how we move forward or how we can we become immobilized.
I have the pleasure of working with many wonderful people and I am always learning from them. I recently worked with a very large construction firm and had the pleasure of watching their President address problems when they occurred. This individual has a very dominating personality and is a quick thinker. For those of you familiar with the Myers Briggs this individual’s personality style would be most likely to be an Extrovert, Intuitor, Thinker, and Judging. I could see that he had resolved the problem and moved on to the solution, before the individual presenting the problem had even finished explaining the problem. There is something to be appreciated in that personality style and that is that they do not dwell on the problem nor do they dwell on the mistake, they identify it and move forward with very little baggage, but with lessons learned. The problem is when your personality style is the opposite areas such as an Introvert, Sensor, Feeler, and Perceiving. The Introvert dislikes conflicts or problems. The sensor has a need to get the details correct; being off on a measurement isn’t acceptable and is a flaw that they struggle to get beyond. The feeler doesn’t want to disappoint anyone and internalizes and dwells on perceived mistakes. The Perceiving personality struggles to make decisions for fear of making the wrong one, and making a mistake only reinforces their insecurity and lack of self-confidence.
So if we have a strong personality how do we help those who work with us decrease the stress that may be felt when mistakes occur. Reinforce positive satisfaction with the job that is being preformed. Attempt to understand that the person your giving feedback to may need time to share or to vent and allowing them to have a discussion with you can help them move forward faster and can improve their relationship with you. As a leader it is important to remember that there is more to life than what we need and want, if we are to grow those around us we need to work on our ability to demonstrate empathy with a variety or personalities.
How do we get through mistakes on our own. Give yourself a mental break. Step outside look down the block and count atleast 10 things in nature that you can see. Take a moment to appreciate the noises of nature, the wind and take a deep cleansing breath. During the day when the mistake creeps into your mind and you begin to beat yourself up or worse put yourself down because it happened, stop and realize it isn’t the first time that it has ever occurred. You have lived through problems or situations like this before and you will live through this event too. You will grow stronger as a person and as a professional. Mistakes will occur, whether made by accident or whether they are the result of a person’s perception of the situation. The biggest mistake we can make is to ignore the lesson that lies within the situation and to beat ourselves up over the past. We can’t undo yesterday, last week or last year, we can make today better and work to improve our tomorrows and our future. Dwelling on what has been prevents us from making what can be better.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Getting Where we Want to Be
Vol. I No. 6 2009
Getting Where We Want to Be
Do you know people or companies who just let life happen to them? They don’t take control of their life. Getting where we want to be rarely occurs by accident. Sure, we read about the lottery winners, or the very rare number of people in this world that seem to get to a destination because circumstances put them in the right place at the right time; But for most of us, our ability to arrive at the destination we are seeking occurs because we are willing to put forth effort. Even though getting where we want to be requires more work than having it handed over to us, the ability to appreciate and sustain what we accomplish is even greater. We do more than survive circumstances and events in life, we choose to strive and thrive. This results in determining our direction and destination instead of letting ourselves be victims of circumstance. Realizing we have choices in life also prevents us from becoming a victim, and instead making us more in control of our destiny. Life is easier when we realize that we have choices. True, we may not always like the choices available to us, but we do have choices, and knowing that we have choices prevents us from feeling trapped.
Maybe you can relate to a situation I was in many years ago. I held a high up supervisory position, was very competent, and had increased productivity and revenue in a brand new branch of the company. The corporate ladder expanded and I found myself no longer reporting to the CEO, but to a new manager who was unfamiliar to this industry and in my eyes out to make a name. Life at work went from being enjoyable to unbearable. As a single parent, I felt trapped. The issues became severe enough at one point that I realized that I could have filed a formal complaint, but fear prevented me from pursuing this option. Then I realized I could resign. I knew that would be my last choice, but the realization that I had a choice or choices was significant. I typed up a letter of resignation and placed it in the trunk of my car. I then looked at what I was allowing to happen to my job performance, my “I am fed up” attitude was going to ultimately reflect in my work and that would directly reflect on me, instead of my manager and that wasn’t what I wanted. So I decided to take a new direction and remove myself from being the victimized employee. I became determined to demonstrate my competence regardless of my manager and to make sure that I did such a good job, that if I were asked to leave, I would know I had given 100% to the job and that others would quickly miss the excellent work I did. My strategy paid off for me. While there were at least 3 occasions where I walked out to my car, opened the trunk, and picked up the resignation envelope, I knew I was the bigger person here and gave myself one more day to think it over. Ultimately, the manager went away, because the incompetence could only be hidden for so long.
Usually the reason we are trapped is because we have developed tunnel vision and no longer see the possibilities available to us. I have been working with companies and employees who are working to survive this new reality of change. Many people and companies are on change overload. This overload causes many people to freeze, which results in a lack of productivity, poor morale, and feelings of being a victim with a sense of hopelessness. In the end, only the doctors and therapists are doing well during poor economic times, or periods of excessive change. Companies and people who are keeping their heads above water, as the cliché goes, are companies that had solid strategic plans. They looked forward and determined what their goals were and identified steps that they needed to take in order to get there. Courses may have had to be readjusted, but they knew where they wanted to go and stayed true to their course.
So how do you get to where we want to go regardless of economic challenges? We set a course for where we want to go. A key part of the process is to take responsibility for determining your direction and avoiding becoming a victim of circumstance. This basic premise sounds so simple, yet people dismiss it without giving it a try. Then decide your direction, what actions will you take to reach that goal? What sacrifices will you make in order to meet the goal? Identify what you need to do to stay on track; clearly know the value of this goal. It is easy to get stuck and to wear blinders that cover our eyes and our ears preventing us from seeing that there are many options or possibilities available to us.
Identify where you want to be professionally, personally, financially? What needs to happen in order to move you in that direction? Be realistic and identify those things that you can control in your world. What do you need to do about your mental readjustment in order to move yourself in the direction that you want to go? What are you willing to do to go from stress to success? Start by having the end in mind - which in this case would be Success. This means moving to success versus starting from stress. We already know where we are and don’t need to focus anymore time and attention on our current position; instead we need to set a goal that will help to shape the plan or path we want to be on. This approach applies to everyday tasks like housecleaning, making dinner, getting dressed. You know what it is that you want; So you create a path for getting there and apply it to every aspect of your life.
WEBINARS and TELE-SEMINARS
Scheduled programs can be delivered directly to your organization or professional association. Call ((772) 461-8313 USA Eastern Standard Time or Contact us for availability and fee schedule.
Have to watch the budget but still need to have training that has value. Then let us provide a teleconference or webinar just for your dept or organization. Contact us today to set up a program that will benefit your company and employees. Our time is your time, time zones and shifts are no problems. Let us see what we can do to offer what you need.
********************
ARTICLES:
Have a custom article written for you association newsletter or trade magazine. Request reprint permission of an existing article.
********************
NEED A GREAT SPEAKER to get a convention going? Does your training a lift and positive energy? Then call today and book Cynthia Krosky or her staff. Let us be your resources to help you grow. Call us at (772) 461-8313 USA Eastern Standard time. Do you know someone who could benefit from leadership or team-building programs then forward this to them! We are looking forward to serving you!
*****************
Cynthia is a CSP, Certified Speaking Professional, the highest earned designation in the International Federation of Professional Speaker and the National Speakers Association. Of 4000 members, less than 200 women hold this designation. Seeking a professional for your next convention keynote or other programs, call us at (772) 461-8313 USA Eastern Standard Time
Getting Where We Want to Be
Do you know people or companies who just let life happen to them? They don’t take control of their life. Getting where we want to be rarely occurs by accident. Sure, we read about the lottery winners, or the very rare number of people in this world that seem to get to a destination because circumstances put them in the right place at the right time; But for most of us, our ability to arrive at the destination we are seeking occurs because we are willing to put forth effort. Even though getting where we want to be requires more work than having it handed over to us, the ability to appreciate and sustain what we accomplish is even greater. We do more than survive circumstances and events in life, we choose to strive and thrive. This results in determining our direction and destination instead of letting ourselves be victims of circumstance. Realizing we have choices in life also prevents us from becoming a victim, and instead making us more in control of our destiny. Life is easier when we realize that we have choices. True, we may not always like the choices available to us, but we do have choices, and knowing that we have choices prevents us from feeling trapped.
Maybe you can relate to a situation I was in many years ago. I held a high up supervisory position, was very competent, and had increased productivity and revenue in a brand new branch of the company. The corporate ladder expanded and I found myself no longer reporting to the CEO, but to a new manager who was unfamiliar to this industry and in my eyes out to make a name. Life at work went from being enjoyable to unbearable. As a single parent, I felt trapped. The issues became severe enough at one point that I realized that I could have filed a formal complaint, but fear prevented me from pursuing this option. Then I realized I could resign. I knew that would be my last choice, but the realization that I had a choice or choices was significant. I typed up a letter of resignation and placed it in the trunk of my car. I then looked at what I was allowing to happen to my job performance, my “I am fed up” attitude was going to ultimately reflect in my work and that would directly reflect on me, instead of my manager and that wasn’t what I wanted. So I decided to take a new direction and remove myself from being the victimized employee. I became determined to demonstrate my competence regardless of my manager and to make sure that I did such a good job, that if I were asked to leave, I would know I had given 100% to the job and that others would quickly miss the excellent work I did. My strategy paid off for me. While there were at least 3 occasions where I walked out to my car, opened the trunk, and picked up the resignation envelope, I knew I was the bigger person here and gave myself one more day to think it over. Ultimately, the manager went away, because the incompetence could only be hidden for so long.
Usually the reason we are trapped is because we have developed tunnel vision and no longer see the possibilities available to us. I have been working with companies and employees who are working to survive this new reality of change. Many people and companies are on change overload. This overload causes many people to freeze, which results in a lack of productivity, poor morale, and feelings of being a victim with a sense of hopelessness. In the end, only the doctors and therapists are doing well during poor economic times, or periods of excessive change. Companies and people who are keeping their heads above water, as the cliché goes, are companies that had solid strategic plans. They looked forward and determined what their goals were and identified steps that they needed to take in order to get there. Courses may have had to be readjusted, but they knew where they wanted to go and stayed true to their course.
So how do you get to where we want to go regardless of economic challenges? We set a course for where we want to go. A key part of the process is to take responsibility for determining your direction and avoiding becoming a victim of circumstance. This basic premise sounds so simple, yet people dismiss it without giving it a try. Then decide your direction, what actions will you take to reach that goal? What sacrifices will you make in order to meet the goal? Identify what you need to do to stay on track; clearly know the value of this goal. It is easy to get stuck and to wear blinders that cover our eyes and our ears preventing us from seeing that there are many options or possibilities available to us.
Identify where you want to be professionally, personally, financially? What needs to happen in order to move you in that direction? Be realistic and identify those things that you can control in your world. What do you need to do about your mental readjustment in order to move yourself in the direction that you want to go? What are you willing to do to go from stress to success? Start by having the end in mind - which in this case would be Success. This means moving to success versus starting from stress. We already know where we are and don’t need to focus anymore time and attention on our current position; instead we need to set a goal that will help to shape the plan or path we want to be on. This approach applies to everyday tasks like housecleaning, making dinner, getting dressed. You know what it is that you want; So you create a path for getting there and apply it to every aspect of your life.
WEBINARS and TELE-SEMINARS
Scheduled programs can be delivered directly to your organization or professional association. Call ((772) 461-8313 USA Eastern Standard Time or Contact us for availability and fee schedule.
Have to watch the budget but still need to have training that has value. Then let us provide a teleconference or webinar just for your dept or organization. Contact us today to set up a program that will benefit your company and employees. Our time is your time, time zones and shifts are no problems. Let us see what we can do to offer what you need.
********************
ARTICLES:
Have a custom article written for you association newsletter or trade magazine. Request reprint permission of an existing article.
********************
NEED A GREAT SPEAKER to get a convention going? Does your training a lift and positive energy? Then call today and book Cynthia Krosky or her staff. Let us be your resources to help you grow. Call us at (772) 461-8313 USA Eastern Standard time. Do you know someone who could benefit from leadership or team-building programs then forward this to them! We are looking forward to serving you!
*****************
Cynthia is a CSP, Certified Speaking Professional, the highest earned designation in the International Federation of Professional Speaker and the National Speakers Association. Of 4000 members, less than 200 women hold this designation. Seeking a professional for your next convention keynote or other programs, call us at (772) 461-8313 USA Eastern Standard Time
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