Getting Where we Want to Be

Vol. I No. 6 2009
Getting Where We Want to Be

Do you know people or companies who just let life happen to them? They don’t take control of their life. Getting where we want to be rarely occurs by accident. Sure, we read about the lottery winners, or the very rare number of people in this world that seem to get to a destination because circumstances put them in the right place at the right time; But for most of us, our ability to arrive at the destination we are seeking occurs because we are willing to put forth effort. Even though getting where we want to be requires more work than having it handed over to us, the ability to appreciate and sustain what we accomplish is even greater. We do more than survive circumstances and events in life, we choose to strive and thrive. This results in determining our direction and destination instead of letting ourselves be victims of circumstance. Realizing we have choices in life also prevents us from becoming a victim, and instead making us more in control of our destiny. Life is easier when we realize that we have choices. True, we may not always like the choices available to us, but we do have choices, and knowing that we have choices prevents us from feeling trapped.

Maybe you can relate to a situation I was in many years ago. I held a high up supervisory position, was very competent, and had increased productivity and revenue in a brand new branch of the company. The corporate ladder expanded and I found myself no longer reporting to the CEO, but to a new manager who was unfamiliar to this industry and in my eyes out to make a name. Life at work went from being enjoyable to unbearable. As a single parent, I felt trapped. The issues became severe enough at one point that I realized that I could have filed a formal complaint, but fear prevented me from pursuing this option. Then I realized I could resign. I knew that would be my last choice, but the realization that I had a choice or choices was significant. I typed up a letter of resignation and placed it in the trunk of my car. I then looked at what I was allowing to happen to my job performance, my “I am fed up” attitude was going to ultimately reflect in my work and that would directly reflect on me, instead of my manager and that wasn’t what I wanted. So I decided to take a new direction and remove myself from being the victimized employee. I became determined to demonstrate my competence regardless of my manager and to make sure that I did such a good job, that if I were asked to leave, I would know I had given 100% to the job and that others would quickly miss the excellent work I did. My strategy paid off for me. While there were at least 3 occasions where I walked out to my car, opened the trunk, and picked up the resignation envelope, I knew I was the bigger person here and gave myself one more day to think it over. Ultimately, the manager went away, because the incompetence could only be hidden for so long.

Usually the reason we are trapped is because we have developed tunnel vision and no longer see the possibilities available to us. I have been working with companies and employees who are working to survive this new reality of change. Many people and companies are on change overload. This overload causes many people to freeze, which results in a lack of productivity, poor morale, and feelings of being a victim with a sense of hopelessness. In the end, only the doctors and therapists are doing well during poor economic times, or periods of excessive change. Companies and people who are keeping their heads above water, as the cliché goes, are companies that had solid strategic plans. They looked forward and determined what their goals were and identified steps that they needed to take in order to get there. Courses may have had to be readjusted, but they knew where they wanted to go and stayed true to their course.
So how do you get to where we want to go regardless of economic challenges? We set a course for where we want to go. A key part of the process is to take responsibility for determining your direction and avoiding becoming a victim of circumstance. This basic premise sounds so simple, yet people dismiss it without giving it a try. Then decide your direction, what actions will you take to reach that goal? What sacrifices will you make in order to meet the goal? Identify what you need to do to stay on track; clearly know the value of this goal. It is easy to get stuck and to wear blinders that cover our eyes and our ears preventing us from seeing that there are many options or possibilities available to us.

Identify where you want to be professionally, personally, financially? What needs to happen in order to move you in that direction? Be realistic and identify those things that you can control in your world. What do you need to do about your mental readjustment in order to move yourself in the direction that you want to go? What are you willing to do to go from stress to success? Start by having the end in mind - which in this case would be Success. This means moving to success versus starting from stress. We already know where we are and don’t need to focus anymore time and attention on our current position; instead we need to set a goal that will help to shape the plan or path we want to be on. This approach applies to everyday tasks like housecleaning, making dinner, getting dressed. You know what it is that you want; So you create a path for getting there and apply it to every aspect of your life.

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