Have you ever made a mistake or been informed that an action you took was a mistake? How did you feel about the feedback or information? What did you do as a result of this feedback or information? Feedback is essential, it is even more important if the feedback is in regards to an error that was made. The challenge with feedback is to learn how to hear what is shared and to take the proper action.
Basic customer service instructs us that when something goes wrong we should use what I call the AAA technique. Acknowledge the problem; Apologize for the problem and then make amends to fix the problem. Using all of the AAA’s together is essential but while this may sound very simple, we can get hung up on any one of these three areas. Acknowledgement is challenging. For some issues, this may mean that you personally have to take ownership of what happened. Many times this also means that you are not given the opportunity to defend or explain why it happened. That is what makes acknowledgment so challenging. For example if you are a waiter or server in a fast food restaurant and an order is delayed, it is important to acknowledge the delay to your customer. The customer does not want to hear that someone else took their hamburger or that you their order was lost, they simply want you to acknowledge that it happened. If you are in construction and a railing or wall is not meeting or passing code. The inspector and company hiring you doesn’t care why it happened, even though the explanation may be logical, they do care that it happened and that it will be fixed.
So what makes this part of customer service so frustrating? It is usually because our job or career gives us personal identity and we take pride in what we do. So when a problem occurs, we feel a sense of ownership and a sense of disappointment for either being unable to prevent it or unable to explain in advance what was happening, thus perhaps preventing the customer from being displeased. So what can we do to decrease the frustration? We must see it as an opportunity to grow. We may grow because the person sharing genuinely cares. Remember 90% of customer complaints are a cry from a customer who wants to see the problem fixed, as they would like to remain a customer. So hear their feedback about the problem or mistake, understand why they are sharing, and identify how you will address a situation in the future for that customer or any other then move forward. Here is where we meet our challenges to grow. First we need to detach or give up our desire to explain our actions . It can take us quite a while to realize that those explanations are t just is not going to happen. Secondly, we have to find a way to cope with the lack of closure about the issue, since there is not an opportunity to explain our side. This leaves us with the burden of ownership and the sense of having unintentionally disappointed someone. Unfortunately, this can cause us to get stuck yet again, unless we have learned techniques to help us move forward, so that we don’t get bogged down in second-guessing ourselves. Personalities, professions, and our own personal baggage can affect how we move forward or how we can we become immobilized.
I have the pleasure of working with many wonderful people and I am always learning from them. I recently worked with a very large construction firm and had the pleasure of watching their President address problems when they occurred. This individual has a very dominating personality and is a quick thinker. For those of you familiar with the Myers Briggs this individual’s personality style would be most likely to be an Extrovert, Intuitor, Thinker, and Judging. I could see that he had resolved the problem and moved on to the solution, before the individual presenting the problem had even finished explaining the problem. There is something to be appreciated in that personality style and that is that they do not dwell on the problem nor do they dwell on the mistake, they identify it and move forward with very little baggage, but with lessons learned. The problem is when your personality style is the opposite areas such as an Introvert, Sensor, Feeler, and Perceiving. The Introvert dislikes conflicts or problems. The sensor has a need to get the details correct; being off on a measurement isn’t acceptable and is a flaw that they struggle to get beyond. The feeler doesn’t want to disappoint anyone and internalizes and dwells on perceived mistakes. The Perceiving personality struggles to make decisions for fear of making the wrong one, and making a mistake only reinforces their insecurity and lack of self-confidence.
So if we have a strong personality how do we help those who work with us decrease the stress that may be felt when mistakes occur. Reinforce positive satisfaction with the job that is being preformed. Attempt to understand that the person your giving feedback to may need time to share or to vent and allowing them to have a discussion with you can help them move forward faster and can improve their relationship with you. As a leader it is important to remember that there is more to life than what we need and want, if we are to grow those around us we need to work on our ability to demonstrate empathy with a variety or personalities.
How do we get through mistakes on our own. Give yourself a mental break. Step outside look down the block and count atleast 10 things in nature that you can see. Take a moment to appreciate the noises of nature, the wind and take a deep cleansing breath. During the day when the mistake creeps into your mind and you begin to beat yourself up or worse put yourself down because it happened, stop and realize it isn’t the first time that it has ever occurred. You have lived through problems or situations like this before and you will live through this event too. You will grow stronger as a person and as a professional. Mistakes will occur, whether made by accident or whether they are the result of a person’s perception of the situation. The biggest mistake we can make is to ignore the lesson that lies within the situation and to beat ourselves up over the past. We can’t undo yesterday, last week or last year, we can make today better and work to improve our tomorrows and our future. Dwelling on what has been prevents us from making what can be better.
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