In the last newsletter we discussed that managing difficult people is more about managing behaviors that create conflict. We also came to the realization that in the work setting we rent behaviors for a fee, also called a pay check. We have addressed several ways to resolve conflicts and how to identify problem behaviors to decrease conflicts from escalating. However, when a conflict is occurring in the work setting, inevitably will impact the job performance. Human resource professionals can help managers work through situations that may lead to termination. But what about the intervention steps before this.
As discussed earlier people are creatures of habits and therefore if we have neglected to address a problem in a timely manner, not to worry they will repeat it.
Address problematic behaviors within 72 hours or less. Addressing behaviors weeks later, is ineffective. If the event or situation is important enough that it needs to be addressed then doing this in a timely manner is necessary. The rule of thumb for 72 hours is to allow for a cool down time. Lets say an employee verbally threatens another employee. The angered employee makes a fist, yells and throws down an object that was in their hand. While the angered employee storms off, everyone within earshot has watched the scene unfold. The persons anger and actions need to be addressed. Calling them into your office to discuss this behavior is appropriate, but the goal of that meeting may be best spend simply de-escalating them, assuring that they are calmer when they leave and not a threat to the safety of others. Meeting with them a day or so later, may be in both parties best interest as the employee should have had some time to cool off and reflect on what happened to spark their flames. Neglecting to meet with this employee can have grave implications as others may become more fearful and the employee feels that the behavior has been excused. Please realize a single outburst does not necessarily mean that a person is violent, this outburst could be due to something physical, such as a change in blood pressure etc. Whatever the cause it, the person needs to be spoken with and needs to understand that such behavior is not tolerated.
When the time comes to meet with the employee, address the most recent issue. Unless this is a disciplinary action, bringing up the past pattern of behavior should be a last resort. The best place for the meeting should be in a neutral area, one that does not put the employee on guard, but provides safety for you. Ensure that the meeting will not be interrupted and sufficient time exists to complete the discussion. Ask the employee privately to come to the office, avoid creating further attention to the individual by paging him or her overhead. If the employee is having difficulty, controlling their temper such an announcement may reignite the behavior.
If for some reason, the employee cannot be met within 72 hours then plan to meet with him or her in no less than 2 weeks. There are sometimes extenuating circumstances, vacations, etc. that prevent people from meeting promptly, but avoid allowing any more time to pass than this.
Here is a simple formula that can be used to address performance management issues. This is a great tool for home and work.
For the leader, manager, teacher who needs to address an issue use the COPING method.
Clarify for yourself why this is a problem or a conflict. This clarification means that it can’t be personal, but must be a valid reason.
Objectively identify the facts. Be objective in examining the situation vs. subjective.
Patterns of behavior. Is this an isolated incident or one that has occurred before. Is there a history.
Investigate the facts as you know them. What can be validated? If this becomes a
reprimand than the facts are a must, is there a policy that has been violated?
Negotiation is going to be key. What is that needs to be done? Does a behavior
need to change. What will the new behavior or response look like. How can you describe it, if the person doesn’t seem to be aware that a change is needed.
Give them a chance to change. Is this an option? How long do they have to show that
there is a real change in this behavior? Be prepared to share this with the individual.
Once you have had the chance to work through the Coping Model it is time to use it with the employee. Prepared with your information, we allow the employee to see what he or she can offer as a solution etc.
Clarify with the employee why you are meeting. Offer for them to advise you of the
reason first. Allow them to ask questions to make sure that he or she understands.
Objectively listen to their story. Ask them to explain the situation without naming other employees or blaming other people. We are all responsible for our own behavior. No one can make us behave a certain way. We allow people to ignite us, and ultimately we are responsible for our reaction and response.
Patterns of performance or of a behavior. Put the employee’s performance in relative
terms is also a good tool to promote recognition of an issue, i.e., “Susan, while I
understand that you may feel that being late is beyond your control, your tardiness
record places you in the bottom 10% of the workforce in terms of reliability.”
Investigate and identify alternatives with the employee. Allow the employee to identify what could be done to prevent this from happening again.
Negotiate with the alternatives presented. What is acceptable and reasonable in the
work setting.
Give them a chance to demonstrate a change. Set a time line for checking back with them on observed changes.
Going through this analytical process prior to meeting with the employee allows a manager to focus his/her thoughts and guide the conversation more efficiently. Discussing performance/behavior with an employee is the most critical component of performance management and in keeping conflicts to a minimum.
The key in effectively dealing with a conflict or performance issue is to distinguish the person from his behaviors. Honoring an employee’s right to be treated professionally, courteously, and respectfully aligns equity on the side of the manager, and allows the relationship to survive the problem.
Perform coping today. It is easy to apply to a variety of situations, after all, COPING is what it is all about.
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