Is there blood running through the veins of your employees or coworkers, or is embalming fluid literally pumping the life out of your organization and pumping certain death into it? I am an optimistic person, I even have rose-colored glasses so I can see things from a very tainted point of view, but at the same time, I am a realist. In working with some organizations that are attempting to resolve conflicts, the reality is that we want to start with the people who are pumping the life out of an organization, when we ultimately need to start with the people that are still willing to pump life into the organization.
Yes, this is the path of least resistance. Some may see it as the easy way out, but I like the way my husband stated it: “you have to give up the hill to win the battle.” When dealing with conflict resolution there are some key items to understand.
1. What is at the core of the problem?
2. What is the behavior that is getting the reaction?
3. What is the group or person doing to derail the leader or us from seeing the problem?
4. Who is the scapegoat, or the person who is taking the heat and blame for the problem?
5. What (if anything) is the scapegoat doing to provoke or contribute to the situation?
6. What are other people doing that permits the person or people to sustain the conflict?
As we answer these questions, other elements need to be addressed, such as:
1. How does this group/team think?
2. Are they analytical, intuitive, or people-oriented?
3. Are the problems being resolved in a way that makes sense to their thought process?
4. If not, what can be done to improve this?
In the last two newsletters we talked about predictable patterns that occur when there are problems, how some people thrive on creating chaos and how others get caught up in it. (If you missed those newsletters just write us at newsletter@achievingcorporateexcellence.com and in the subject request Part I and II.) Now we have to dissect the problem on a more personal level. As leaders or people, being affected by the conflict what is that we are doing that is preventing us from resolving it promptly and professionally. Have we identified the core issue, or are we so busy shoveling dirt off of it that we can’t see the solution. Remember my saying, “At the root of every problem, lies the seed to it’s solution.” Once we know the core issue, we have to separate the person from the problem. See the first lesson is that he isn’t the problem, the behavior is, but our reaction to the behavior may be fueling the behavior and until we get our behavior or reactions in check, we will make very little progress.
What behaviors derail us from addressing the core issue? Are little fires started so that we never have time to deal with the big fire? Is blame put back on us in order to take the heat of the person exhibiting the behavior? Again what is your reaction that helps to keep this burning? What are the reactions of others on your team that prevent us from extinguishing the flame or from getting to the root of the problem? An internal flame can ignite an external flame.
Remember it is much easier for a third party person to see the behaviors and to get to the core of the issue. If you or your team is encountering conflicts, it will cost less in the long run to bring someone in to get the problem resolved than it will to ignore it, or to lose productivity while trying to figure it out. Problems that affect our employees affect our relationships with external customers and that can cost us even more. For example, a customer feels that they have been treated unfairly. Research shows that an unhappy customer will complain to a minimum of 15 other customers. Thus spreading a bad reputation. Worse yet is that 96% of all customers who have a complaint or conflict with something your business offers, will never tell you, they will simply take their business elsewhere. So when that one rare customer steps forward and identifies a problem be ready to step up to the opportunity. For a true sign of professionalism and personal growth is being able to turn a negative situation into a positive experience. 70% of complaining customers will continue to do business with you again if you resolve the problem in their favor. 95% will continue to do business with you if you resolve the problem on the spot.
Today what are you doing to solve problems internally or externally. Are you empowering the people you lead? Are you making them more aware of how to resolve conflicts with internal and external customers? Are you assessing their skills so that you can better prepare them to properly fight the battle and surrender the hill?
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