The subject of today's newsletter changed, when the peacefulness of a College Campus in Virginia (USA) was rocked. College or school for that matter is suppose to be a place that teaches the skills we need for life. But there are many lessons that life teaches us that school curriculum's neglected to teach. Where in school do we learn about preparing ourselves to be safe? Where so we learn about how to apply and live through the grief stages? Where do we learn about how to develop a safety plan that will help to prevent a major crisis? We don't! However, life signs us up for courses that we would never willingly have enrolled in. Over the past 24 hours, people in America and friends all over the world have enrolled in a new learning experience. Over the next few days our media will be overwhelmed with stories about the grief, the terror and the strengths of people who are being challenged to pass a course in life they never wanted to sign up for and only hope or pray they will successfully pass. At times of tragedy, we become united. A parent in Florida who is normally busy with life and frustrated or even happy about something their college son or daughter is doing, rarely has cause to think that there is a parent in Virginia or in Germany having the same experience. But today, every parent regardless of the differences in where they may live or who they are parents are united today, just as the college students are united today, feeling the pain and the loss. We learn now that despite many actions unity is alive and well.
Aside from being a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with background in crisis intervention. I have over 20 years of providing programs on safety, workplace violence, and how to develop proactive plans for safety. While people are impressed with my training, people typically invite me in to do the Motivational Keynotes, or training programs on Leadership and teambuilding. They don’t want the heavier topic about how to create a plan to prevent violence in the workplace or in a school setting. Understandably they are serious topics. However, I don’t want the call that says because we ignored developing a plan we are now the victims. No plan is foolproof but they are a lot better than not having a plant at all. Pretending the world is safe doesn’t make it safe. Yesterday is a reminder of this.
Life knows that experience is the best instructor for truly learning about ourselves and what we are made of. I learned to love life many years ago and I found and nurtured my spontaneous fun loving personality. Over the past 24 hours, I have hugged more intensely reached out with calls to friends and family more frequently and reached out to those that are hurting.
Life's changing events effect each person differently. Some of us seek to make sense out of it. So we watch the news, check the internet, or listen to the radio. Unfortunately, the media, especially the visual media, leaves an imprint on us. The result is that people even thousands of miles away begin to feel despondent and depressed. Because this didn’t directly they try to get over it without help or mask the feelings by relying on medication, drugs, or alcohol to help them past this. But this isn’t the answer and the problems can get worse. I know this because of my education as a therapist and because life taught me this lesson many years ago.
We need to be proactive in learning lessons not taught in school that is the job for the leaders. We need to be prepared to understand the realities of the world because Generation Y has grown up with these realities on their campus and have witnessed the realities through the news. The moral to the story is that life is uncertain and that it isn’t safe to go to school or work anymore. I was in California this month providing a program on Inter-Generational Diversity in the workplace. The participants of Generation Y born from 1977 to 2000 were nodding in agreement that safety is a concern they have. It is more a part of their generation than any other generation that preceded them. Yet they still don’t know how to be prepared for it. But they want’ ignore that it is a problem.
We are accustomed to helping people find answers to problems. Only when tragedy strikes the ability to understand is not so clear cut. The answers are elusive, and the answers we find don't seem to make sense! We struggle to make things better, but know it is important to be truthful, so find ourselves silent, because we can't tell people that "everything is going to be fine." Symptoms of trauma filter into our life and confuse us more, especially if we were not directly involved in the tragedy. We forget things, we misplace our keys and we seem to have trouble thinking clearly. Tasks seem to take longer to complete. As a result frustration can set in and a sense of helplessness can take over. The frustration, helplessness, mixed emotions or even, anger that we feel are all normal reactions to this situation. Know that life teaches us lessons individually and that some people move on before others. Students, teachers, family, friends, and coworkers may be grieving different losses: the loss of loved ones or the loss of safety and security. Grief impacts each person differently so be patient.
People who are use to being proactive can be temporarily immobilized by tragic events. This temporary immobilization allows people to heal to take the breath they need to gain strength. Once we have our breath it is time to resume our role as a leader to our family, friends, and employees. As the coordinator for my counties Critical Incident Stress Management team, and Region 5 Mental Health team leader for the Florida Crisis Consortium. (I respond to crisis events when called upon.) Please take today as an opportunity to look at your plans for working and living safe. My website has been updated with information on what are normal reactions to Critical Incidents. What to do and what to avoid doing. I encourage you to check out this information and share it with those around you. http://www.acespeaks.com
Life is not the only instructor when a tragedy occurs, because it opens the door for us to learn and to instruct people. Encourage people to talk, if need be call in a professional Critical Incident Debriefer. This valuable intervention mitigates the impact of traumatic stress and minimizes stress related symptoms that can impact work, family and even health. Provide employees with information about their employee assistance program. Allow people take a few more breaks, encourage people to take advantage of events that promote physical exercise. Rally a group to do a walk-a-thon or jog-a-thon. Undirected energy can turn into anger and increases potential for violence. Provide people the opportunity to give input on developing or updating your emergency response plan and to earn more about your city or counties emergency response plan then report back to staff. Learn how to contact your local Critical Incident Stress Management team or how to formulate one in the event one does not exist. There are many lessons we learn from life and tragedy is the hardest teacher.
Quote:
"Today is a gift. I will allow it to unfold with splendor. I will allow myself to fully experience the beauty that it presents me. I will embrace the day and do all that I can to show that I am worthy of this day. Today I will seek to be better than I was yesterday, for today is a present." Cindy Krosky
"Life is love. Love is Life." - Ali, a friend in Russia.
Posts
