Stuck in the Middle

Have you ever felt like you are stuck in the middle in a situation? Like no matter, what you do there is no easy way for you to come out ahead? This can happen for a variety of reasons and in a variety of situations that cause a person to feel stuck in the middle. We all know the feeling, it is awkward and negativity wears heavily on us, as we struggle and search for alternative ways to resolve a problem. Being caught in the middle can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. The worst part is that people in this position often become immobilized, which only increases the level of anxiety and stress symptoms. Inaction is our enemy when we are stuck in the middle.

First things First – Where is this happening?

First think about the situation where this happening. Is it at home or at work? At home, a child can be caught in the middle between arguing siblings or parents. A parent can be get placed in this awkward situation by a child who wants something that the parent will not let them have. Is at work, where a co-worker or boss has ask you handle a situation that you that you weren’t even a part of. Such as to discipline someone who broke a rule, when you weren’t event present to see it happen. Or perhaps you were asked to say nothing to a person who is about to get disciplined. All of these situations can create that awkward stuck in the middle feeling.

Now the What!

Assess the situation to understand why you are caught in the middle? Is this a pattern? Is it really your job to be the person to handle these situations? Have you allowed yourself to be placed her or manipulated into this situation? What are the risks if you speak up or ask to be removed from this middle position?

Sometimes we get caught in the middle because someone else doesn’t want to handle a conflict or a situation that could cause him or her to look bad, so this person dumps it onto us. If we don’t speak up for ourselves, we have then accepted the burden. We have also increased the chances that this person will put us in the middle again. We are creatures of habit and what works for me once I will try to see if it works again. The less resistant we are to being in the middle the more often we will find ourselves there.

Is there an alternative to being in the middle such as can you help to mediate the situation to the people that may be avoiding a discussion about a situation? This allows you to be objective and help teach people how to work through problems in the future without making you caught in the middle. Leaders and managers often find themselves caught in the middle because they are proficient at handling situations with employees while a co-worker or another manager may feel less than prepared to handle the situation. Examine the reason or cause that is placing you in the middle and determine if it really is a learning opportunity in disguise. Remove emotions and opinions about the person who has put you in the middle and objectively examine why you are here and why the person is placing you in the middle. Objectively examining this can help us see teaching opportunities that can prevent us from being caught in the same place again. Give support without removing responsibility from those you lead and you will find you are stuck in the middle less. Remember middle management is a position, not a place where we are suppose to feel stuck. Have a great week!